There is no sugarcoating it… Breakups are haaaardddd!
They become even harder when you’re the one getting dumped. It’s one of the most devastating feelings to experience. Some people say it’s like being underneath a roller coaster. I agree.
Damn, there is that piercing needle you feel each time you remember what it was like to be with your ex. This is especially true for a fresh breakup. Their thoughts never cease to flash through your mind, the smell of their body and sweet sweet loving memories you shared together (oh yes, I wrote the sweet twice).
Oh, how you thought you’d found the one to live happily ever after with… only to wake up one day to an empty text. Sad, sad, just sad.
Now, as with most breakups, the pain is becoming unbearable for you, so you pick up your phone and Google, “how to get over my boyfriend FAST”.
And voila, there are thousands of information online. Who would have thought?
Interestingly, the blogs you check tell you to move on, get someone new and forget about him.
‘It’s his loss.’ They say. ‘If it was meant to be it would be’.
Your friends also tell you the same, ‘Girl, you deserve better.’ (maybe, but do you really?).
Without wasting time. you heed their advice and decide to move on. Perhaps, you will say yes to the guy who’s been showing interest while you were in the relationship.
Ironically, nothing changes for you even after getting into a new relationship. One day you’ve forgotten all about him and the next he is consuming your mind and you can’t help but long for him to come back. Or worse, you even offer to go back to him.
‘Why? I thought I got over him.’ You wonder.
No girl, you never did get over him. You never healed. You only buried your feelings and expected them not to resurface. Wrong!
Crying will save you more than denying will.
You see, according to science, breakups are like physical wounds. You can bandage it up and go about your life. But know this, if you don’t nurture and give it time to completely heal, you’re only postponing the evil days.
And trust me, the evil days will come sooner or later. When that happens you will wish you’d taken your time to heal earlier.
Have you ever witnessed a scenario where a woman cheats on her partner with her ex? And no, she’s not a horrible person.
There is a higher chance that she never got over the ex in the first place. She never took the time to process the breakup and heal. Like most people, she moved on too easily.
If you don’t want this to be your story, heal, my dear, heal, don’t run.
Understandably, it’s normal to want to be free from the string of emotions tying you to your partner especially when you find out it wouldn’t work between you two anymore.
Heal from your breakup now so it doesn’t break you up in the future.
Quick question, if a mother loses her child, do you advise her to just move on and give birth to a new child or adopt a new one? What about a wife who loses her husband to death? Wouldn’t you allow her to go through the mourning process? Of course, you would.
Yet, science has confirmed that breakup feelings are synonymous with the death of a loved one. How about that!
If that’s the case, why do we clamor to get over an ex just a day after a breakup? Gurl, this is exactly why you’re not over him yet, even though you think you are.
I understand it’s hardddd!! Oh yes, it is. But here is my advice after a breakup;
Don’t bottle it up.
Pour it all out.
Call in sick from work.
Stay in bed the whole day and do nothing but eat (if you have an appetite, that is).
While it’s natural to want to stop feeling miserable after a breakup as soon as possible, you also must understand that healing comes with acknowledgment.
You don’t heal by denial. You heal by acceptance.
The most significant stage of healing is the acceptance stage (and the first one for that matter).
Believe it, there is time for everything. If you don’t do it now, you’re only postponing the inevitable.
It will hunt and chase you down and you’d wish you had done it when it’d just happened. Don’t shift ahead days of misery when you can deal with them now.
A friend told me about his breakup and the one piece of advice I gave him that helped was ‘cry all you want. Don’t hold back. But make sure when you stop, you stop’
So yes, my number #1 remedy for getting over a breakup is to cry.
Whether or not you believe it, there are lots of benefits to crying. It releases a hormone (cortisol) that relieves stress, improves your mood, and makes you feel better.
Don’t jump into a new relationship immediately after a breakup. Allow yourself a couple of days to fully process what’s happened.
Not only is this crucial for healing, but it also helps you figure out what lessons to learn so you don’t repeat such mistakes in your future relationships.
However, know when to stop crying. And when you eventually stop, stop.
I hope this post helps someone going through a tough breakup or loss. My warm wishes are with you. Stay strong and remember, this too shall pass.
Breakup feelings are synonymous with the death of a loved one.
What other remedies do you think can help with getting over a breakup? Feel free to share in the comment session below. It’s always a pleasure reading from you.
Read More: 6 Steps To Dealing With Loss
Remember to SUBSCRIBE to my newsletter to always receive enlightening articles like the one you just read directly in your email.
Until you hear from me again, stay blessed. Ciao!