What Every Lady Needs To Know About Men – A man isn’t another woman.

As a lady, if you’ve ever wondered what it is about men that makes them so difficult to deal with or why they’re hard to understand.

Perhaps, you just don’t get men but wish you could.

Lastly, if you struggle to understand how men think, or battle with any other WH questions about men, then go on, you’re reading the right article!

A man’s definition of love sometimes can be very different from a woman’s definition of love. It is not their faults. It is just how they are wired.

This article will enlighten you on the best ways to get through to a man. And no, it’s neither food nor sex – just in case that’s what you were thinking.

But first, did you know that unlike what many people think, lack of love isn’t always the reason relationships end?

Often more than not, lack of knowledge or understanding is the major cause why potential relationships crash. And sometimes, it’s because of wrongly espoused notions.

For instance,

The idea that, “If he loves me he will do anything for me ” can sometimes be attributed to childishness. You are probably wondering why I said this.

Well, many ladies need to come to terms that just because a guy proclaims his love for you does not mean he must begin worshipping you.

It’s baffling when I see some ladies claiming they want what they want exactly when and how they want it from their partner.

They want to talk to their partner at a particular hour and he is given absolutely no choice but to meet up – no excuses- regardless of what his schedule is like.

If they want money at a time, then he should provide it at the time they need it, and exactly the amount they need. All in the name of he loves me. Come on, give the poor guy a break. That’s not fair!

Now, I’m not saying your partner shouldn’t treat you right but don’t turn him into a servant that only lives for his master – in this case, you. Besides, don’t servants have breaks too?

Men hate complaints and nags! Ladies, need I loud this? Nagging is a big turn off for men. It scares and chases them off!

Regardless of what you have heard before, relationship is hard work – real commitment and self dedication kind of hard work. To think that guys should do all the hard work -the calling, the money, the texting- is really unfair. As a lady you must try to invest as much as he is investing. Then can you call yourselves a couple.

Now, going straight to the main point of the article. Why are men so difficult to deal with?

As a lady, here is a scenario you’re probably very familiar with:

You have done everything right but somehow your partner is so distant. He hardly talks about his day, he is so cold towards you and the relationship.

You think you are the only one who is emotionally invested in the relationship. Perhaps, he doesn’t care about you as much as you do him? You ask, “Why is he always so quiet, why doesn’t he ever share?” And you just can’t help but complain.

In fact, all you ever remember doing for a while now is complaining. You keep telling him everything he is doing wrong, what you want and how you want to be treated. Yet, it only gets worse instead of getting better.

Well hey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with voicing out. It’s totally okay to express yourself. Your voice counts, and so do your needs.

But do you know you might have been approaching the whole situation the wrong way? Probably why it only gets worse instead of getting better each time you complain.

While a lady focuses more on her relationship and everything that can possibly go wrong, a guy focuses on his work and everything he can possibly do right that will make him a winner.

What could be the problem?

If you’re asking, here is your answer,

Men hate complaints and nags! Ladies, need I loud this? Nagging is a big turn off for men. It scares and chases them off!

Instead of seeing a lady’s nag as a way to correct their ways, men see it as an accuse and abuse on their masculinity. They feel incompetent. And believe this, men never want to be with a lady they feel incompetent around.

So, what should you do? 

Understand love from men’s perspective

A man’s definition of love sometimes can be very different from a woman’s definition of love. It is not their faults. It is just how they are wired.

For ladies, our happiness often lies in our emotional satisfactions. How healthy and fulfilling our relationships are is the ultimate determiner of how happy we are. This applies to even the seemingly strongest women.

We become unhappy and begin to panic when our relationships are dying . And because we are fixers by nature, we want to fix it by all means even if it means fixing the person that we are in the relationship with. Oh, very very wrong move.

The problem lies here:

For a man, on the other hand, his greatest joy/happiness and sense of fulfilment come from his achievements or accomplishments. This of course, emanates mostly from his work and not from his relationship unlike for a lady.

Generally, as humans, we tend to fixate and work more on what brings us happiness and sense of fulfilment. So, guess where a lady’s energy is focused more on and guess where a guy’s energy is also focused more on. Your guesses are as good as mine.

if you can make a man feel like a winner and a king in his work, you will own him forever.

While a lady focuses more on her relationship and everything that can possibly go wrong, a guy focuses on his work and everything he can possibly do right that will make him a winner.

So, here is the hint for the lady, never try to fix a guy. You will send him a message that says, “You’re not good enough and I want to make you into what I think is good for me.” And off he goes.

if you can make a man feel like a winner and a king in his work, you will own him forever. Complaining and nagging will only worsen the matter. In fact, men are often repelled by a woman who consistently complains, as mentioned above.

They feel they are failing her and cannot make her as happy as she deserves to be. And no matter how much they love her they will let her go.

This is the case where you hear a guy sad over a relationship he ended. He says, “I love her but I had to let her go. She deserves better.”

Men want to know they are leaders, they are born to win and not to lose. You wonder why they are so obsessed with football? They are designed to be champions.

By assuring him that he is the best at what he does, he will feel elated and begin to realize that you see him as winner, and in turn, he will make you his queen and give you his all because you make him feel in a way no other person makes him feel – a champion.

You awaken a part of him that inevitably makes him yours forever. Everybody wins, isn’t it?

Whatever you do, never try to change your man.

So ladies, instead of whining and grinding about all the wrong things your man is doing, focus and emphasize on all the right things he is doing, focus on his strengths and other positive sides to him. Trust me if you look enough you will find some.

Let me leave you with one final thought, whatever you do, never try to change your man.

For the next few months, decide to not complain about anything but praise everything (sincerely, no faking or pretence), and you will be surprised at how your relationship will swing further ahead to a beautiful new level.

Always remember that a man is not another woman!

READ ALSO ; WHAT EVERY MAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT A WOMAN – A Woman Is Not Another Man

20 BASIC QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS BEFORE ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM/HER

THREE SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN A “RELATIONSHIT”

I hope this short article has been an eye opener for ladies. Remember to share with your friends, you might be saving somebody’s relationship from sinking. 

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Also, leave your comments in the comment box below. What else do you think ladies need to do or stop doing to understand their men better?  Or why do you think men are so difficult to deal with? Tell us in the comment box below. It’s always a pleasure reading from you.