“What’s next after NYSC?”
Many of the recently discharged corps members are anxious, and under lots of pressure to face the real world.
It’s easy to wake up and go to class, teach (for those of us that were posted to school), then wait for 33k alert at the end of every month. But no more of that. 33k is halted. Bye-bye to allawee. Hence, we can’t help but wonder and ask, what’s next?
Affirmatively, the pressure is high. Pressure to get a job and start working, not just working, but earning cool cash. Pressure to get married, this one’s specially directed towards the ladies.
The way people expect so much from freshly relieved corps members would make you think that the purpose of NYSC is to go and perform magic that would immediately grant you success in every area. Including marriage, without any delay.
Magic to get a job, run a company, start sponsoring the rest of your siblings education, and many more. They will say, “did he or she not just finish NYSC? What is he or she then waiting for? Why doesn’t he have a job yet? Why isn’t she married yet?” Ah kilode! Service year is not a magic year ejoor… 🙏🙏
The marriage issue is more peculiar to the ladies, especially if she’s in her mid- or late 20s. Her family’s fingers are crossed- the mother is probably thinking, “Let her come back, and introduce the guy she met while serving, and let us fix a date.” Please, somebody should tell me when NYSC became spouse producing machine 🤣
In this post, I will be addressing the issue of marriage.
In my tribe, once a lady has attained a certain age and gotten a degree, and still living with her parents, they will say, “o tin run le” (You’re smelling/reeking of house). This simply means it’s time to marry and leave your father’s house. Trust me, the matter is not as funny as reading it as it is when it is being experienced.
Few days ago, one particular evening, a male corper (now an ex corper) in my lodge argued that the best thing that can happen to a lady after NYSC is Marriage. It didn’t make sense to me, but I was technically “shut up” after a female corper supported this.
Moreso, I am well aware that this notion is by all means embraced by our culture. And believe me, sometimes, it just isn’t fair. Hence, in an attempt to help the ladies, I decided to throw the question to the world.
Here are some responses I got from the youths.
Is Marriage The Best Thing That Can Happen To A Lady After Nysc?
Lekan (Male) — Marriage is a very good thing, and it is in God’s plan for us to get married. But I wouldn’t agree to the conclusion that marriage is the next thing for a lady after service.
What if the lady is not in any relationship? What if she is in a relationship and both parties are not ready for marriage? Plus, marriage is not some bread and beans. Some people can choose to get married after service. Some can go for M.Sc. While some can decide to explore and enjoy life. Some can work and be financially self-dependent. It’s all about whom we are, and what we see as priority.
Marriage is cool, but it is not *necessarily* the next thing for a lady after service. My view though.
Gbemi (Female)- Never! Myopic talk! What happened to chasing your dreams, getting that Ph.D. with honors just like you want, the masters, the CEO position? What happened to ambitions and getting to where you’ve always wanted to be?
For some people, it may be so. But for me? Chasing my long-term goals, visions and dreams, and getting them as I have wanted or close to what I’ve wanted would be the best thing.
The society has made marriage look like the greatest gift or achievement for a woman. Rubbish. That’s where “a woman’s office is in the kitchen” stems from.
Toyosi (Male)- Nope. The best thing that can happen to a lady is to get a good job. Well, it depends though. Those claiming wedding might actually want to be a full house wife. But if a lady truly wants to be independent to some extent, and be very supportive to her husband financially, then the best thing is to get a decent job.
Bukky (Female)– This is my own take; If u are matured enough, I repeat matured enough, why not? And when I mean matured, it cuts across all the facet of her life. Marriage is not for babies. So why not work on yourself before marriage?
Osas (Male)– It actually depends on the lady. If she feels she is ready and has accomplished one or two things she so longed for, she can go ahead. Age is another factor that should be considered. If she’s close to her 30s it’s a *yes*, and if she’s younger like *(22-28)* and feels she needs to accomplish more, she has a choice.
Kevin (Male) — No, I don’t support that. No not at all. Only a woman who’s not industrious and self-reliant sees marriage as the last and only option, and ends up becoming a liability to the man she marries.
Except the hubby needs a full time house-wife.
Most of these girls are under a lot of pressure. And sometimes, some ladies feel age isn’t on their sides, some having no where to go or someone to turn to after the service year with little or no job available for them. And some for the sake of security, “financially and otherwise”
Olatunde (Male) — It depends on choice, and age. But for me, we must have these two things in mind; marriage and carrier. Time is limited, most, especially for ladies. But have in mind to pursue your goal.
Virtually everyone that responded disagreed to this statement. Interestingly, most of the males that responded opposed the notion that marriage is the best thing that can happen to a lady after NYSC.
Someone may argue that this small scale survey isn’t enough to come to a conclusion. Maybe, maybe not. But in this era of the world that we are in now, an ambitious individual, either male or female, ought to know that marriage isn’t the only best thing that can happen to a lady after NYSC.
So, my fellow ladies, let’s relax. And shake off those unnecessary pressures they may be putting on us. There are other beautiful things in life that can happen to a lady after NYSC than getting married. If you’re ready, fine. Go ahead and marry. It’s a good thing. But don’t do it because the society makes it mandatory.
Read similar post MY NYSC EXPERIENCE
Hope you learnt from the article above. Kindly share with others as well. Don’t forget to drop your comments. Do you agree that the best thing that can happen to a lady after NYSC is to get married?