“Surround yourself with people that want more out of life. That won’t settle for average. People that you can connect with on a deeper level. Keep your circle fresh. Keep your circle full of quality rather than quantity.” -Genereux Philip.
You probably have heard of the statement, “We Are The Average of The Five people We Spend The Most Time With.” Jim Rhon was absolutely right about this. The people you spend time with are influencing your thinking, your attitude and most importantly your life.
Truly, everyone is special and unique in their own way. Each and everyone in your life have a role to play. No one is a nonentity. But it is also true that each one of us is flawed in one way or the other. We all have areas in our lives that need to be worked on and improved…on a daily basis.
Unfortunately, some people are having a hard time facing this reality. In fact, some are oblivious to this, or they simply turn a blind eye to their flaws.
Also, some are not ready in any way to examine themselves and work on their flaws, while some simply derive pleasure exercising these flaws on other people and influencing people around them negatively – these are the kinds of people you need to stay far away from if you really want to become something in life.
As the old adage says,
“Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.”
There are some people that we simply cannot permit into our lives, and if we have, we need to stay away from them ASAP.
These set of people often come in different categories.
1. THE PESSIMISTS
Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
These are the number one set of people you should definitely run away from. They are often referred to as the Negative People. You have to be really careful because they are ubiquitous, and are always easy to come across.
These people will never allow you to have anything good to look forward to once you allow them gain entrance in to your life. The pessimists have a common statement, “It won’t work.”
These people are the primary source of most unhappiness. They do more to diminish your joy in life than any other single factor.
Perhaps these people are the way they are because they have been brutalized by life challenges which have drastically changed their perceptions and views about life in general. Perhaps they have been through series of life events that were full of disappointments and as a result have shaped their mindset in such a way that they believe nothing good can come out of anything they attempt. They have probably tried to achieve one or two goals that didn’t work out.
But rather for them to keep trying and perceive their bad results as a challenge, they give up and succumb to the notion that everything will always end badly.
Because of their past experiences, these people resolve to never taking risks, they are always afraid to try something new, no matter how little.
Just before an interview, a pessimist will stand before the mirror and envisage himself failing every question being asked. He never imagines or expects something good coming his way.
Brian Tracy once wrote, “It’s much easier to bounce back from financial loss or reverses your career than it is to deal with negative people in your work or personal life. One major negative relationship is enough to cut off all your chances of achieving your full potential in your career.”
If by any chance you perceive these set of people, my advice for you is to pick a race, and run as fast as you can because if you don’t, they will rub their mindset on you like soap, and believe me it will dry on you and it will become your own thinking as well. If you make yourself available and vulnerable to them, they will drag you down and bring you to their level, and you will become just like them.
2. THE JUDGE – “What right has one to act like judges? What right has one to police another?” -Mohanlal
Is there a set of people capable of degrading your self-esteem other than the judge? The ones who will jump so easily and so fast into conclusions without a bit of a second thought? I am yet to see one. They are usually the perfect ones and they always want to be right at all times. To them, only their opinions matter, and no one else’s.
However, I’m well aware that some people have the gifts to give judgments about a thing or someone accurately. They are great judges of character. But these are not the people I’m referring to in this context. Here, I’m talking about the bad-mouthers. The ones with the intention to criticize the life out of you until you lose your self-esteem.
A judge will see a rich and successful young man and conclude, ” Oh! He’s either a yahoo boy or he has done money ritual.” Making absolutely no attempt to find out the real story. Most times these set of people only make up these stories to be used as an excuse for their lack in the area they make judgment, they somehow find it consoling.
The sad part about the judge is that they are so carried away by other people’s businesses that they have become absolutely blind to their own. They fix so much of their energy and strength on analyzing and accessing other people that they completely lose track of their own lives.
Never associate with a judge, they will criticize you, they will kill your morale, they will stab your self-esteem, and point out only your flaws, then turn you against your own strengths. Yes, that’s what they do. Stay far away from them!
3. PEOPLE WITHOUT GOALS, VISIONS AND AMBITIONS
What good will it profit a man without vision? For he only uses his eyes to see the daylight and night.
I am yet to see a successful man today that started out with no goal, vision or ambition. Successful people are always goals-oriented. Their goals at some point become their inspiration. They plan, they strategize and work really hard before getting to where they are today. So it’s safe to say that people with no goal in life whatsoever have no chance at success.
“All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do.” -Norman Vincent Peale
Our goals and visions are what keep us moving. Our ambitions are what drag us out of bed every morning and keep us on our feet. So again, it’s safe to say that these no goal-oriented people don’t move, they are stagnant, they are dying. They have no direction and no bearing. They move as the current of life takes them instead of creating and deciding which current life should take them. No one should be around these kinds of people. Absolutely no one.
4. THE COMPLAINERS
These are another set of people we should abstain from. These people are synonymous to the pessimists in that they never have positive things to say about anything. They show little or no appreciation, they hardly see the good in people or things. And they see the cup half-empty instead of half-full.
Moreover, they are not open-minded, they are not flexible. They seldom welcome other people’s opinions or ideas. They seldom listen and always want to have the last words. These set of people, just like the judge, often want to believe that they are perfect at every point in time. And I believe we all know that perfection is merely a fantasy. It doesn’t exist. Nothing and no one on this planet is ever good enough for the complainers. To them, you’re either doing too much or not doing enough.
No one ever meets the standard they set, no one can satisfy them. As human beings of course, we are seldom satisfied. We always want more, and that’s fine, but only to an extent. We should learn to always appreciate the little things because sometimes these little things can serve as our entrance ticket to getting the bigger things. Nobody has it all; hence nobody can give it all.
5. THE TIME WASTERS
“If someone will waste their time, they will definitely waste yours too.” – Mike Murdock
Your time is the most precious gift God has given to you. Never misuse it! Guard it with all your might. Protect it at all cost. Don’t squander it and don’t allow someone else to squander it for you.
Often, you will meet certain people in life whose time is of no value and importance to them. They will extend their invitation card, do yourself a favor and never accept it. Refrain from associating with them at all cost.
Your most valuable asset is your time. It is also your scarcest resource. You have a limited amount of time, and once it is gone, it is gone forever. Time is essential to accomplishment. Time is perishable. You cannot get more of it, no matter what you do.” –Brian Tracy
The way you spend your time today will determine the outcome of your future. Time is ephemeral. Time is sacrosanct. When you give away your time, you give away your future, hence, you give away your life.
Time wasters are more like people with no goals and visions. No one with goals will waste their time or someone else’s, because goals-oriented people have a plan and schedule for everything they do. They are seldom less busy. They have direction and clarity.
Every minute and every second of their time count for something. Everything they do is a step forward to their goal. These are the type of people you should be associating with. They will make you better. They will raise you to the top. And they will propel you.
In conclusion, no one is perfect. Everyone is flawed in one way or the other. What separates you from the set of people mentioned above is your own decision and ability to recognize and work on your flaws. The first step to overcoming a problem is recognizing and admitting that there is one in the first place. These people can change too if they realize and choose to work on their flaws.
Remember, “The people you know, and who know you in a favorable way, will do more to determine your success, happiness, and level of achievement in life than any other single factor.” – Brian Tracy.
Never settle for less. Be selective of who you let into your life, and who you allow to stay. They will call it pride, that’s fine. They will call it arrogance, but that’s also fine. Because at the end of the day, you my dear, are the one at the receiving end. So choose wisely.
I believe this post has made us realize one or two things we didn’t know or never paid attention to before. If so, why not share with a friend? Plus, don’t forget to drop your comments and share your opinions with us in the comment box. Are there other people you think we need to stay away from if we are to succeed in life that weren’t mentioned above? Well, enlighten us and let us learn from you also. I’m looking forward to reading from you.