Forgiveness, eleven letter words, that has a great impact in our lives. Unfortunately, it seems to be difficult for many of us to practise. A costless commodity, yet very hard to give out for free.
“forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” – Anonymous.
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” – Martin luther King, Jr.
Believe it or not, forgiveness, as simple as it sounds determines largely the quality of your life, and it plays a substantial role on your health status as well. It determines greatly who you are, where you are and where you will be in life. Perhaps, many of us are in our current situation today due to our ability or inability to render forgiveness. It’s no doubt that most anger, resentments, heartaches, conflicts, crisis and roadblocks emanate and stay, as a result of our lack of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is one of the greatest skills a man can ever acquire on earth, and possessing its ability is one of the best favors you can ever do to yourself. It’s no wonder God emphasized so much on forgiveness in the Bible
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9. If God can forgive us, who are we to hold grudges and keep malice?
“So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, go at once and make peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift to God.” Matthew 5:23-24
However, it’s no secret that many of us despite all the teachings still think it’s very hard and difficult to forgive someone who has hurt us. Some of us even see it as unacceptable, we often say, “How can I just forget and let go of the wicked act he/she has done to me? How can I just let him/her go scot free? No I won’t do that, I can’t do that.”
Ironically, what we fail to realize is that when you forgive it’s not him/her you are letting go scot free, it’s YOU that you are setting free. Each time we forgive we set ourselves free from unnecessary worries. We often forget that refusing to forgive only brings us more anger, pain, bitterness, hatred and drawbacks each time the particular event comes to our mind or each time we see or remember the person. We also forget that our “offender” gets away free.
Surprisingly, he or she may have absolutely no idea how we feel towards him/her. And even if they do, they could care less, ‘cause they are in no way at all affected by how feel towards them. So, you see, we are the one with the problem, we are the one with the heartache. We are the one with a heavy mind.
In fact, we unconsciously give them the power to control our feelings and lives by continuously keeping the hatred, and nurturing the bitterness in our hearts. Hence, we are the one not set free.
“Just imagine how you would feel if you had no anger towards anyone in the whole world. Imagine being a completely positive, optimistic, cheerful person, with high levels of self-esteem and enthusiasm and unlimited self-confidence. Imagine being a warm, friendly, loving person filled with feelings of calmness and inner peace. All this is possible for you if you practise forgiveness.” – Brian Tracy
Here is a take home. Something I made up to make forgiveness easy for me to practise. Over the time, it has really helped me. You may also find it useful.
Always remember it each time you find it hard to forgive after a disappointment, or unfavorable event you think was a result of someone else’s fault.
F – Freedom from unwanted burden
O – Overcoming unnecessary heartache
R – Rest from conflicts
G – Getting filths out of mind
I – Incessant worries are over
V – Venomous heart has become pure
E – Expulsion of sabotaging thought(s)
N – No more sudden ebullitions
E – Ease of mind always
S – Serenity reigns
S – So much more space for positivities!
Lack of forgiveness does absolutely no good, all it can do is steal away your life, happiness, and most importantly your health, but with forgiveness comes healing, joy, progress, and peace of mind.
Read further on the surest way to know you have truly forgiven someone. Just click on this link UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO FORGIVE
I believe this post has contributed something to our lives. If so, why not share with a friend? Also, don’t forget to like and leave your comments in the comment box. How else do you understand forgiveness? Do you find it easy to practise? What technique(s) did you adopt, if any, and in what ways has it helped you? It’s always a pleasure to hear from you and know your opinions; your contributions are highly welcome and always appreciated!