The One Character You Must Possess – Forgiveness

Forgiveness, eleven letter words, that has a great impact in our lives.  Unfortunately, it seems to be difficult for many of us to practise. A costless commodity, yet very hard to give out for free.

“forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” – Anonymous.


“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” – Martin luther King, Jr.


Believe it or not, forgiveness, as simple as it sounds determines largely the quality of your life, and it plays a substantial role on your health status as well. It determines greatly who you are, where you are and where you will be in life. Perhaps, many of us are in our current situation today due to our ability or inability to render forgiveness. It’s no doubt that most anger, resentments, heartaches, conflicts, crisis and roadblocks emanate and stay, as a result of our lack of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is one of the greatest skills a man can ever acquire on earth, and possessing its ability is one of the best favors you can ever do to yourself. It’s no wonder God emphasized so much on forgiveness in the Bible

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9. If God can forgive us, who are we to hold grudges and keep malice?

“So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, go at once and make peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift to God.” Matthew 5:23-24

However, it’s no secret that many of us despite all the teachings still think it’s very hard and difficult to forgive someone who has hurt us. Some of us even see it as unacceptable, we often say, “How can I just forget and let go of the wicked act he/she has done to me? How can I just let him/her go scot free? No I won’t do that, I can’t do that.”

Ironically, what we fail to realize is that when you forgive it’s not him/her you are letting go scot free, it’s YOU that you are setting free. Each time we forgive we set ourselves free from unnecessary worries. We often forget that refusing to forgive only brings us more anger, pain, bitterness, hatred and drawbacks each time the particular event comes to our mind or each time we see or remember the person. We also forget that our “offender” gets away free.

Surprisingly,  he or she may have absolutely no idea how we feel towards him/her. And even if they do, they could care less, ‘cause they are in no way at all affected by how feel towards them. So, you see, we are the one with the problem, we are the one with the heartache. We are the one with a heavy mind.

In fact, we unconsciously give them the power to control our feelings and lives by continuously keeping the hatred, and nurturing the bitterness in our hearts. Hence, we are the one not set free.

“Just imagine how you would feel if you had no anger towards anyone in the whole world. Imagine being a completely positive, optimistic, cheerful person, with high levels of self-esteem and enthusiasm and unlimited self-confidence. Imagine being a warm, friendly, loving person filled with feelings of calmness and inner peace. All this is possible for you if you practise forgiveness.” – Brian Tracy

Here is a take home. Something I made up to make forgiveness easy for me to practise. Over the time, it has  really helped me. You may also find it useful.

Always remember it each time you find it hard to forgive after a disappointment, or unfavorable event you think was a result of someone else’s fault.

F – Freedom from unwanted burden
O – Overcoming unnecessary heartache
R – Rest from conflicts
G – Getting filths out of mind
I – Incessant worries are over
V – Venomous heart has become pure
E – Expulsion of sabotaging thought(s)
N – No more sudden ebullitions
E – Ease of mind always
S – Serenity reigns
S – So much more space for positivities!

Lack of forgiveness does absolutely no good, all it can do is steal away your life, happiness, and most importantly your health, but with forgiveness comes healing, joy, progress, and peace of mind.

Read further on the surest way to know you have truly forgiven someone. Just click on this link UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO FORGIVE


I believe this post has contributed something to our lives. If so, why not share with a friend? Also, don’t forget to like and leave your comments in the comment box. How else do you understand forgiveness? Do you find it easy to practise? What technique(s) did you adopt, if any, and in what ways has it helped you? It’s always a pleasure to hear from you and know your opinions; your contributions are highly welcome and always appreciated!

15 comments On The One Character You Must Possess – Forgiveness

  • ologe amos orayver

    Some times we hold on too tight to anger that we forget we can actually let go and experience freedom. How I deal with mine. Well am not perfect so am still learning ways to deal with mine

    • Yes, you are right Amos. We often end up creating more problems for ourselves by refusing to forgive, as lack of forgiveness can be detrimental to our health.
      Keep learning, eventually you will get a method that works for you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Amos🤗

  • Beautiful write-up….

  • Wow,this is a very nice write up.To forgive is divine.Forgiveness is a commandment of God…Matthew 6:14-15 says… For if ye forgive men their trespasses,your heavenly father will also forgive you;but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses….so we should all choose to obey God by obeying His commandment and forgiving others…Let’s take after Him,He onced and will still continually forgive us.God help us all.Shalom.

  • Just as we pray the Lord’s prayer…..
    And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us. Whenever I get to this point I pause and cross check myself who am I holding grudges against? Knowing fully well I can’t fool God i either end the prayer or let go of every of my prisoner.
    But 1 thing to put in mind is because you are forgiving shouldn’t mean people play with your emotions.
    In my own perspective I think it is right once offended you can forgive even before they ask for it but one can also learn to set boundaries once u feel there is the absence of trust

    • Yes Amos, you are very right… Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be aware. You’re doing it for you and only you, hence it has nothing to do with the other party. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us ❤️

  • Hmmm… I have read so many articles about forgiveness and I must say this is up there with one of the best. Weldone!

    Before engaging in forgiveness, a person first needs to understand what is meant by “forgiveness.” I described it as the process in which a person does away with negative feelings — such as hatred, anger, hostility, resentment, and desires for revenge — that he or she is experiencing towards someone.
    I can define it in that simple way because, trust me, I have been there. It was one of the hardest things to give away as human.

    Forgiveness helps you achieve even your most practical and immediate goals. If you have not forgiven then a part of your inner life energy is trapped in resentment, anger, pain, or suffering of some kind. This trapped life energy will limit you. It is like trying to ride a bicycle with the brakes partly on all the time. It slows you down, frustrates you and makes it difficult to move forward.

    One of the best step to take in forgiven people is to have forgiven them ahead, even before they offend you. Even tho we should not limit the number of times we can forgive people, but, however, we must not allow people to play on our emotions or take us for a ride just because we would always “forgive” them. We also must know that forgiveness is for the purpose of past reconciliation but not for future consideration.

    Another step in these endless ways to forgive someone is to recognize no one is perfect. When we hate somebody, we tend to lose our perspective on that person. When we’re filled with resentment and bitterness and hurt, we tend to dehumanize the offender. We treat that person like an animal. But we’re all in the same boat. The Bible says, “Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:20 NLT). We’re all imperfect.

    Relinquishing your right to get even is also one of several ways. This is the heart of forgiveness. The Bible says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 NIV). You deserve to retaliate, but you must commit not to do so. It’s not fair, but it’s healthy. This isn’t a one-time decision but a daily one that may even require moment-by-moment decisions.

    When you can respond to evil with good you know you’ve fully released someone from the wrong that has been committed against you. Humanly speaking, it’s nearly impossible to respond to evil with good.

    Haven said all those above, I must say forgiveness is a daily thing and it is something we must keep doing and get better at if we want to fulfill our destiny and assignments on this planet earth. We are not perfect and so too we must understand nobody is perfect and offenses are bound to come.

    May God help us in this journey.

    • Hmmm, you have really put the words out there… you’ve said it all. Forgiveness is not just a mere practice, it’s a lifestyle that must be adopted by every living being on earth. Thank you Odunayo for this enlightening contribution👌

  • Thoughtful one. Well done Enny. I just get prepared to be offended and to forgive in advance (Don’t laugh o!). Needless to say to err is human. Just continually get use to that.

  • I wish everyone possesses this awesome virtue, wickedness might have not existed in our dictionary… forgiveness reduces wickedness while it’s a fuel for wicked acts.

  • Yes Amos, you are very right… Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be aware. You’re doing it for you and only you, hence it has nothing to do with the other party. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us ❤️

  • You are very Right

Leave a reply:

Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Subscribe to our email newsletter today to receive updates on the latest news and special offers!
No Thanks
Thanks for signing up.
We respect your privacy. Your information is safe and will never be shared.
Don't miss out. Subscribe today.
WordPress Popup Plugin