Is there any other word that evokes strong reactions in the concept of marriage like the word Submission?
Today, many people argue that submission is outdated and oppressive. But that’s not exactly why we’re here.
This article sheds light on the number one reason women find it difficult to submit to their husbands, even among Christian women.
And no, this isn’t just because of feminist ideas but due to a deeper aspect of human behavior.
Not that I condone this non-submissive act but when you look at the reason I’m about to share (as the cause of the absence of submission from Christian wives), it’s going to be hard to judge or criticize these women for their actions.
Ready to find out? Let’s dive in!
Women’s Nature By Design
Now, women love to help. Of course, that’s what we were created for.
We’re designed to be a helpmeet (not a slave) for our husbands. Any virtuous woman will tell you how much joy she derives from doing this.
However, submission comes to a woman easily when the man in question is their superior, not necessarily in age but in wisdom and achievements. Okay, maybe in age, too.
Am I saying we don’t submit to a partner with fewer achievements than us? Of course not. If that’s the case, then what about women like Joyce Meyer?
But if we’re being real, no one can deny the fact that women may find it more challenging to submit to husbands who are younger or have fewer achievements than them.
Hence, it takes extra effort for women in this category to submit to their husbands. But again. that’s not exactly why we’re here.
Now back to our discussion.
It’s true the Bible commands women to submit to their husbands. But it’s also true that not all married men are husbands.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
– Ephesians 5:22
Today, we’ve more boys as ‘husbands’ than men.
That said, let’s examine the word submission itself.
From the combination, sub + mission.
We can say it means submitting under a mission. That is, willingly placing oneself under a shared mission or purpose.
Thus, for a woman to submit to her husband, he must possess a vision/mission, one that inspires and aligns both partners.
Simply put, a man with vision becomes worthy of submission, as his goals and dreams create a framework for his wife’s support and contribution.
Are you getting the point yet?
Women Don’t Submit To Men Without Vision
Picture a husband without a clear vision — someone who simply follows a routine of waking up, working, returning from work, eating, and sleeping. That’s not something a virtuous woman wants to submit to. I know I wouldn’t.
A virtuous woman seeks a purposeful mission to contribute to and support. And this is something that her husband needs to present to her.
By design, women are not wired to be idle, and if they are not provided with meaningful work within the context of their marriages, they may seek it elsewhere.
Hence, when a woman’s attention and focus are drawn towards other endeavors, it’s often misconstrued as a lack of submission towards her husband.
In reality, it may stem from a void of purpose within the marital relationship.
Submission = Sub + Mission
What Does It Mean For A Man To Have a Mission?
Read Genesis 2: 18-24 for reference.
In the book of Genesis chapter 2, it’s clear that Adam had work to do.
He was busy in the garden naming the animals, cultivating the soil, and so on that he needed a helpmeet. He needed help because he had something he was doing.
No doubt, Adam was occupied. He had a vision; a work given to him by God.
The question is, as a man and husband, what are you busy working on that your wife needs to help you with? Do you have a dream? A purpose?
Again, you need to understand that women are not wired to be idle. And if you don’t have something for her to work with, she’ll get one for herself, believe it or not.
And when she does, that’s going to take up her attention and shift her focus away from you. And when that happens, you say, she’s not submissive.
How can she be submissive to you when you’ve not given her anything to submit to?
So when your wife is not submissive, the first thing to do is not to criticize her but to examine yourself.
Ask yourself, have I given her something to submit to? Have I presented a vision she can help me with?
Women Are Multipliers
Dr. Myles Munroe says women are multipliers. Give a woman anything and she will multiply it and give it back to you.
She never gives you back what you gave her.
He concludes by saying, “Brother, if you don’t like what you’re getting from your wife, change what you’re giving” Watch the full video here
Give a woman anything and she will multiply it and give it back to you.
In his book, Singles, Married, and Divorced, Myles Munroe made it clear that the first thing a man needs is not a wife.
A man needs work first, which in other words means vision.
It’s that vision that will attract the right woman that is fit for him. But that’s a different topic for another post, hopefully.
To all the men out there who are underutilizing their women’s capabilities due to your lack of vision and mission, you’re missing out on a lot of successes.
Try having a solid vision and make it plain to your wife and watch her submit to you in every way.
I hope this short article has inspired you in one way or the other.
What other reasons do you think make women non-submissive to their husbands? Feel free to share in the comment section below. It’s always a pleasure reading from you.
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