Could this be a love mistake?
“How did it come to this?”
Amy wondered as she collapsed on the bed, streams of thought running through her mind.
She was never the type to crave for attention.
Never the type to fall too soon, or get involved too deep.
She was strong, independent and ambitious.
But it had all started really well.
And he was just the kind of guy she liked.
The weird one. The not so normal one.
The complicated one.
She never liked “normal”.
Normal in her dictionary meant “boring”.
Luckily for her he was that guy.
The one she’d admired.
The kind she’d wanted.
He was really into her, so it seemed.
He said he wasn’t going anywhere.
And he had meant it.
He had proven it.
Well, as at the time.
He had valued her.
He had cared about her.
And he had wanted her.
So, why waste any more time?
She decided he was worth the chance.
After all, he had become her prince charming.
So… she gave in.
Even though she had billion and gillion doubts about the girl next door.
Things hit off; she never thought she would feel this way about someone.
It was the best feeling in the world.
No day passed without her missing him.
Without her wanting to be with him.
Without her thinking about him.
He had suddenly become a huge part of her life.
‘Could there be a better feeling than this?’ she thought.
Few days later, worries kicked in.
She wondered why he never called like he should .
Even though he had been like that before they got together.
He had not been much of a caller.
But she was hoping that would change now that they were officially together.
He should check on her more, no matter how busy he was.
After all, it was only necessary, ‘other guys check on their girlfriends’.
At the same time, she wondered why plans with him never worked out, mostly from his side, there were always excuses.And there was always the girl next door involved, every time.
But she trusted him like he had asked.
“We’re just friends.” He’d said.
She didn’t want to be labeled the “over jealous” girlfriend.
So, she tried to take her mind off of it.
She turned a blind eye.
“This could not be a love mistake.” She tried to assure herself.
But something in her kept warning.
Her instincts wouldn’t let her rest.
Danger was written all over them.
“Run girl, run. Be careful girl, run”.
But those weren’t enough to change her mind.
She wanted him, him and only him.
She had no vacancy for other guys.
They had been “friend zoned” anyway.
In fact, picking calls from friends once she realized weren’t from him became burdensome.
The independent and ambitious girl was gradually losing herself.
She was suddenly becoming a history.
She was fading away.
Everything in her life revolved around him.
Nothing that didn’t have to do with him made sense anymore.
She just wanted to have him all the time.
Soon enough, obsession became pressure.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
To her, he wasn’t doing enough, she wanted more, she expected more.
So, complaints started raining on him.
He needed to reply her early morning text, he needed to call her often, he needed to show up at the fixed date. But he wasn’t doing any of those, not to her satisfaction.
And like a sudden downpour, the words he said hit her.
“Let’s take a break, I need space.“
It felt like something crushed her heart.
As though it stopped pumping blood for a moment.
This was her greatest fear, what she’d dreaded most.
Fear of chasing him away,
Fear of losing him, and what they both had together.
One, two, three, four weeks passed, and the break was still on.
Giving the space wasn’t really her problem,
The problem was that she wondered why the space only applied to her.
Why it didn’t affect his relationship with the girl next door.
Why he only needed it from her.
She just couldn’t tell.
Could this actually be a love mistake?
Nothing had ever hurt her like this.
Some days, she blamed herself for not doing enough.
Other days she blamed herself for doing too much, for putting so much pressure on him, for asking for too much from him.
If only she had known.
More weeks passed by and the space still continued.
Then it dawned on her, “There wasn’t any space, it was a break up. It definitely was a break up.” She realized.
So, she panicked. She became paranoid.
She decided if he wasn’t man enough to boldly say it, she would do it for him.
So, she ended the relationship.
He didn’t fight back, he didn’t hesitate, and he gladly granted her her wish.
As though he had wanted it, as though he had been expecting it.
It hurt more that he didn’t care enough for her to stay.
As if what they both had didn’t mean anything to him.
She eventually realized what a huge mistake she had made
Investing too much in the relationship.
Neglecting everything and everyone else in her life that mattered.
Giving him so much value and importance over everything else.
Making him her world, her fairytale.
Forgetting who she really was
All this she realized as she laid down on the bed, giving a heavy sigh.
And in that moment Amy promised never to make such a mistake in love, ever again!
The above scenario applies to almost all girls, at a point in her life at least. We often become engrossed in our relationship, especially at the early stage. We end up losing that great personality that attracted the guy to us in the first place. Forgetting we were a jewel, a price to be won, even before the relationship.
Relationship with a guy shouldn’t dominate our lives, it shouldn’t warrant forgetting other amazing people we knew first before the guy, and most importantly who we really are. Let’s avoid this love mistake.
Let’s go over Amy’s predicament. The post only talked about and revealed her side of the story. We have no idea what it was like for the guy.
The questions are; what could Amy have done differently or not do at all? Should she have not been involved in the first place considering the circumstance with the girl next door?
Was she right by trusting him blindly despite the warning signs? Was she right to have ended it? Or should she have been more patient and see it to the end? Should she have fought more for the relationship? Should she have pushed harder?
What do you think she could have done differently? How else do you think she could have handled it? Your opinions and views will be highly appreciated.
Here’s another interesting article you need to check out LOVE INTERVIEW: WRONG REASONS FOR FALLING IN LOVE
19 comments On The Love Mistake You Shouldn’t Make
Is there anything she would have done differently I doubt that. He was never committed from the beginning. There is nowhere he said he liked spending time with her. So their relationship was just like a one way street. She was the only one feeling it plus again there is the girl next door. The turbulence to her plane. She lost this one. She just had to try again
With this coming from a guy, I think I’m gonna go with “she made the right choice by calling it off”. Thank you Amos! I hope other girls who need this get to read it.
This is lovely
Thank you Samuel!
Amazing piece.
Ladies tend to try too much in relationship all in the name of love and this bore guys..
Keep up the good work.
You’re very correct. Thank you for your time 😊
Love is two sided one person cannot do it alone. I think she forced things. The guy in question was never into her.
You couldn’t be more right Amos, she definitely tried too hard.
So inspiring!
keep up the good work…
Thank you Dorcas. Glad to know you found it inspiring 😊
Well done Enny! Amy made a big mistake by expecting the guy to change after they got into the relationship. Is she a miracle worker? She took the best decision anyways.
I guess the saying is true, “they never change.” Thanks Jibola!
Nice writeup. What I have learnt so far is those that are single should appreciate their single hood,love yourself and learn to be independent. Your happiness should not be determined by anyone but you and above all know and love God because God is love…you can’t know and appreciate love without knowing God.Falling in love without knowing what and who love is will surely end in frustrations and heartbreaks.
You’ve said it all Dammy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us 🤗
Well, there are three sides to every story
1. Amy’s side
2. The boyfriend’s side
3. What actually went down!
Well, the intricacies of the story didn’t really model the boyfriend… And Besides Amy’s thought weren’t clear enough… she should have set the boundaries, I meant with the girl next door… to the guy it’s an open opportunity, she left that door wide open!!! when she presented the break up story, the guy might just have thought… oh so this is what she’s always wanted, well… then go ahead and have it…
No one can tell… probably the guy was butting down on the process of choosing… setting one free for the other… the story was scripted on the fact that Amy was heads over hills in Love!!! How did that happen… something is missing… he doesn’t call her, he doesn’t text!!! She knew all this right at the start, then how did an independent and strong woman get entangled with this man in the first place!!! What was he doing that stopped??? We don’t know… why didn’t she demand for an explanation before hitting the exit button? There are several ways to play it… but she chickened out!!! My thoughts tho… I think she could have tried to understand the reason for the space, even if it was going to end!!? I mean, Mr. boyfriend was too comfortable, she would always come back to him, literarily, he was her world, She didn’t make him realise she was a trophy!!!! She wasn’t sure all along about him, she just wasn’t clear enough… and Every man has that foolish polygamous trait… once we are comfortable, we tend to think in that direction!!! Amy played herself… she got served… and at the end of the day, Mr. boyfriend might just get married to the girl next door… which easily could have been Amy had she set the boundary!!!
You’re very right, your comments revealed some errors made by Amy. However, Amy assumed the reason for the space was probably because of her complaints which she later realized was more than that… In fact, for all she knew, it wasn’t even that (the complaint) in the first place, it was the girl next door, something she knew from the start but chose to ignore, something her instincts had warned her about but she decided to overlook. And you’re right, Mr. Boyfriend got comfortable, he knew he had her, he knew she would always be available…well, until Amy woke up and spoke sense into herself.
But again who wants a player, who wants to be with Mr. Instability? Amy made the right choice.
Thanks so much Abolade, your comment shed more light on this👌
What more can I say Amy played the role she could play in the relationship. Note we all are different in our various relationship.
Amy did the best she can I making the relationship work, she wanted a relationship without complaints, enve, argument, fight and jealousy ,she did what anyone in her shoes would do. I believe the guy felt Amy is not the kind of girl for him and for she to hit the exist button she did the needful to end the misery the guy has put her into, it a nightmare no one would want to be in.
Note :
No one deserves to be treated as option.
You’re correct, Amy tried her best in the little way that she knew how to, just maybe she didn’t try enough. And I agree with you, no one deserves to be treated as an option, no one.
Thank you for your contribution Sunstakes😊