Could this be a love mistake?
“How did it come to this?”
Amy wondered as she collapsed on the bed, streams of thought running through her mind.
She was never the type to crave for attention.
Never the type to fall too soon, or get involved too deep.
She was strong, independent and ambitious.
But it had all started really well.
And he was just the kind of guy she liked.
The weird one. The not so normal one.
The complicated one.
She never liked “normal”.
Normal in her dictionary meant “boring”.
Luckily for her he was that guy.
The one she’d admired.
The kind she’d wanted.
He was really into her, so it seemed.
He said he wasn’t going anywhere.
And he had meant it.
He had proven it.
Well, as at the time.
He had valued her.
He had cared about her.
And he had wanted her.
So, why waste any more time?
She decided he was worth the chance.
After all, he had become her prince charming.
So… she gave in.
Even though she had billion and gillion doubts about the girl next door.
Things hit off; she never thought she would feel this way about someone.
It was the best feeling in the world.
No day passed without her missing him.
Without her wanting to be with him.
Without her thinking about him.
He had suddenly become a huge part of her life.
‘Could there be a better feeling than this?’ she thought.
Few days later, worries kicked in.
She wondered why he never called like he should .
Even though he had been like that before they got together.
He had not been much of a caller.
But she was hoping that would change now that they were officially together.
He should check on her more, no matter how busy he was.
After all, it was only necessary, ‘other guys check on their girlfriends’.
At the same time, she wondered why plans with him never worked out, mostly from his side, there were always excuses.And there was always the girl next door involved, every time.
But she trusted him like he had asked.
“We’re just friends.” He’d said.
She didn’t want to be labeled the “over jealous” girlfriend.
So, she tried to take her mind off of it.
She turned a blind eye.
“This could not be a love mistake.” She tried to assure herself.
But something in her kept warning.
Her instincts wouldn’t let her rest.
Danger was written all over them.
“Run girl, run. Be careful girl, run”.
But those weren’t enough to change her mind.
She wanted him, him and only him.
She had no vacancy for other guys.
They had been “friend zoned” anyway.
In fact, picking calls from friends once she realized weren’t from him became burdensome.
The independent and ambitious girl was gradually losing herself.
She was suddenly becoming a history.
She was fading away.
Everything in her life revolved around him.
Nothing that didn’t have to do with him made sense anymore.
She just wanted to have him all the time.
Soon enough, obsession became pressure.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
To her, he wasn’t doing enough, she wanted more, she expected more.
So, complaints started raining on him.
He needed to reply her early morning text, he needed to call her often, he needed to show up at the fixed date. But he wasn’t doing any of those, not to her satisfaction.
And like a sudden downpour, the words he said hit her.
“Let’s take a break, I need space.“
It felt like something crushed her heart.
As though it stopped pumping blood for a moment.
This was her greatest fear, what she’d dreaded most.
Fear of chasing him away,
Fear of losing him, and what they both had together.
One, two, three, four weeks passed, and the break was still on.
Giving the space wasn’t really her problem,
The problem was that she wondered why the space only applied to her.
Why it didn’t affect his relationship with the girl next door.
Why he only needed it from her.
She just couldn’t tell.
Could this actually be a love mistake?
Nothing had ever hurt her like this.
Some days, she blamed herself for not doing enough.
Other days she blamed herself for doing too much, for putting so much pressure on him, for asking for too much from him.
If only she had known.
More weeks passed by and the space still continued.
Then it dawned on her, “There wasn’t any space, it was a break up. It definitely was a break up.” She realized.
So, she panicked. She became paranoid.
She decided if he wasn’t man enough to boldly say it, she would do it for him.
So, she ended the relationship.
He didn’t fight back, he didn’t hesitate, and he gladly granted her her wish.
As though he had wanted it, as though he had been expecting it.
It hurt more that he didn’t care enough for her to stay.
As if what they both had didn’t mean anything to him.
She eventually realized what a huge mistake she had made
Investing too much in the relationship.
Neglecting everything and everyone else in her life that mattered.
Giving him so much value and importance over everything else.
Making him her world, her fairytale.
Forgetting who she really was
All this she realized as she laid down on the bed, giving a heavy sigh.
And in that moment Amy promised never to make such a mistake in love, ever again!
The above scenario applies to almost all girls, at a point in her life at least. We often become engrossed in our relationship, especially at the early stage. We end up losing that great personality that attracted the guy to us in the first place. Forgetting we were a jewel, a price to be won, even before the relationship.
Relationship with a guy shouldn’t dominate our lives, it shouldn’t warrant forgetting other amazing people we knew first before the guy, and most importantly who we really are. Let’s avoid this love mistake.
Let’s go over Amy’s predicament. The post only talked about and revealed her side of the story. We have no idea what it was like for the guy.
The questions are; what could Amy have done differently or not do at all? Should she have not been involved in the first place considering the circumstance with the girl next door?
Was she right by trusting him blindly despite the warning signs? Was she right to have ended it? Or should she have been more patient and see it to the end? Should she have fought more for the relationship? Should she have pushed harder?
What do you think she could have done differently? How else do you think she could have handled it? Your opinions and views will be highly appreciated.
Here’s another interesting article you need to check out LOVE INTERVIEW: WRONG REASONS FOR FALLING IN LOVE