It’s no myth. There are indeed Red flags to watch out for in every relationship.
A new relationship no doubt always comes with the thrill. A beautiful feeling that you want to experience over and over again. Y’all know exactly what I mean I suppose.
And just like nobody embarks on a mission with the intention to fail. No relationship is started without the aim of making it a lifetime success – ( my words anyway).
Sadly, not all our expectations get fulfilled. Some fail to become the reality we have envisaged. Disappointments hit us and our hopes can get crashed. So pathetic!
We wake up day after day wishing that things would return to the way they used to be. We want to go back in time and ‘re-experience’ the thrilling feelings we once had with them at the early stage of our relationship.
Unfortunately, we have to face the fact we may never get the chance to relive such an experience again- with them.
Nothing hurts more than realizing that the best moments we could ever have with someone, are those we had with them in the past. And we start to wonder how it all faded within a blink of an eye. All the rush and excitement…where have they all gone to?
But then, here’s the big question? Why aren’t we leaving? I mean it’s so clear that this is not what we want. So, then why are we still in the relationship? What’s stopping us from getting out?
Could it be because we are confused. Or that we are still doubting and unsure as to whether or not our reasons are genuine enough to end the relationship.
And that brings me to the aim of this article-some red flags you need to watch out for that may indicate that your relationship is just not right for you, and you need to call it quit- for your own sake.
Here, I have listed some of these red flags that you must keep an eye out for so as to save yourself a lifetime of regrets.
1. INCESSANT LYING – Honesty and trust are the basic foundation in any relationship. I have heard the words white lie before but never have I really understood how it is so different from black lie, if at all there is even any word of such.
Anyway, regardless of the kind of lies your partner is feeding you with, lying is one of the number one red flags in any relationship. If your partner constantly lies to you, it only reveals how much disrespect they have for you. And worse, they are taking you for a fool.
A chronic liar will do anything to cover up his/her lies under pressure. They can even kill. Now, I’m certain you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who could “mistakenly” kill you one day because you confront him for a lie you found out he had once told you? Think about it!
In addition, if you have to make up lies to defend or protect your partner always , it is a red flag.
Now don’t get me wrong, it is completely understandable that there will be times we may need to protect the image of our partner by covering up for them. But if it happens always that you need to do it out of your own will, it is a sign that they are compromising your beliefs.
You shouldn’t always have to lie for someone to defend/protect them if what they are doing is right.
2. THEY HAVE ONCE CHEATED ON YOU
Once a cheat, always a cheat is what they say right? If you asked me, I’d say an individual with a sincere feeling will never dream of cheating on their partner.
The last person anyone should be with is a cheat. I call these set of people “Confused”. And believe me that is exactly what they are. If by any chance you catch them red handed they will cook up inconvincible excuses to defend themselves. And if care is not taken they will eventually confuse your life too.
At the end of the day, you may start to doubt your own worth and value. You ask yourself if you are not doing enough or you are doing too much. These kinds of partners are not healthy to be with.
My best advice is that if you are in a relationship with someone who has cheated on you before, they will most likely do it again. So run as fast as you can. You deserve much better than that.
3. YOU WISH YOU HAD NOT GOTTEN INVOLVED IN THE FIRST PLACE: Okay could there be a bigger red flag than this? When every moment you spend with your partner seems to be stirring up some form of regretful words in your mind such as “I wish I hadn’t…” or “If only I’d known I wouldn’t have…”, it is a big sign that you need to call it quit.
Brian Tracy once said, “Ask yourself if there is anything in your life that, knowing what you now know, you would not get into or start up again today if you had to do it over?” (Please read that quote again for better understanding.)
He then proceeded to say “Often the biggest problem in personal strategic planning is your attempting to make something work that you wouldn’t even get into in the first place if you had to do it over again.”
Apparently Brian Tracy was referring to business planning here. But the question can be directed to our personal lives as well. So ask yourself, “If I had the chance to choose a new partner would I still choose my current partner again?”
If your answer is ‘no’ then you need to seriously reconsider the kind of partner you are currently in a relationship with.
4. YOU WANT THEM TO CHANGE
It’s no doubt we saw our partners exactly the way they were before we initiated our relationship with them. Then why do we still insist on them changing? It could be that we are one of those that create the ideal partner in their head and end up with the opposite. Let me explain this part better.
There is the real person and there is the ideal person. The real person is who our partner actually is, while the ideal person is who we want them to be- the version of them (which they aren’t) that we have created in our head. This is what results into us asking our partner to change.
Unfortunately, as hard as it is for us to admit this, people do not change who they are. Not because it’s impossible, but because it is easier for them to stay the way they are than for them to change.
So, if your partner is not what you want, I’m sorry to announce to you that you cannot make them into what you want them to be. How about you just let them go?
5. YOU NO LONGER AGREE ON THE SAME THING
Admittedly, this might not be anyone’s fault. Nevertheless, a good and healthy relationship is one where both partners have, if not the same, but almost the same views about things.
A situation where your A is sounding like B to your partner is a call to attention that both of you are growing … apart. Is growing good? Absolutely! But growing apart? That is really bad for two people in a relationship. This is usually the cause of conflicts and arguments. Remember that couples that argue a lot grow farther apart and vice versa. So be wise and deal with the situation diligently.
Other red flags to watch out for aside from the ones mentioned above are- they bring out the worst side of you; they get angry when you confront them about something they have done; you are confused about their feelings towards you.
In conclusion, no relationship is perfect. Of course, there will be good times, and there will be bad times. But watch out when the bad times are overshadowing and overlapping the good ones. It should be the other way around.
If you see 50% of the signs listed above in your relationship, and you are still finding it hard to leave, because you keep thinking about how much time or resources you have invested in the relationship, you will be investing more unfruitful ones if you do not call it quit and leave right now
If there are Relationship Red Flags, it only makes sense that there will be Relationship Green Flags. Check that out here with just one click “GREEN FLAGS” THAT DEFINE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
So there you have it- the red flags to watch out for in your relationship. Be sure to share with a friend, you never can tell who you might be doing a huge favor. Remember to leave your comments. I’m always looking forward to hearing from you.