Let People Go

People are not toys to cleave to when we need to play around, and dispose when it’s of no use. Learn to let people go.

You led me on.” Felicia cried staring endlessly into Danny’s eyes as if searching for something lost there, her own eyes filled with so much disappointment.

I did no such thing.” Danny denied almost dumbfounded that Felicia would even assume a thing of such.

You never told me you had a girlfriend” She fired on.

Because you never asked me.” Danny replied.

You made me believe you didn’t.” She accused further.

How in the world did I do that?” He asked almost sounding clueless

We were always together. You spent so much time with me.” She answered.

As so you did. I enjoyed your company. You are funny and very lively to be with.” Danny said more like explaining.

Felicia bit her lip, still convinced in her heart that there was just no way it was only her who read too much into their friendship.

Each time I traveled you called to confirm my safe arrival.” She continued hoping giving instances would make Danny realize what she felt he was oblivious to.

Isn’t that what friends do? I had to make sure you arrived safely. I care about you.” Danny replied.

And with fury, Felicia voiced out and said, “Oh now I see what really went on. You’re in a long distance relationship and you needed someone to fill your empty tank. So you took advantage of my vulnerability. Isn’t that so?”

No response from Danny. Felicia paused, muttered a few words to herself and finally said softly “You said I was beautiful.”

Danny sighed, somehow realizing what a mess he might have actually created “Because you are Felicia. Would you rather I’d called you ugly?”

Felicia now a bit calm, ignored Danny’s question, moved a bit closer as if to whisper into his ear “But everyone thinks we are dating.”

Because the world we live in is full of short sighted people. People only see what they want to see. Besides most of them don’t even know I have a girlfriend.” Danny landed.

Felicia said with a shaky voice  “Apparently, neither did I.”  And she walked away… with a broken heart.

Pretty pathetic for Felicia isn’t it? Trust me feel for her too.

I know we can all relate well with what transpired between Danny and Felicia. However we should note that the role could be interchanged. What I mean is Danny could be the one in Felicia’s shoes while Felicia could be the one in Danny’s shoes. Neither role is gender specific.

Many times we have somehow found ourselves in a similar situation like this, where we had absolutely no idea how much people read into our relationships with them. We innocently develop some closeness towards certain people, and if care is not taken, they could misread our intentions.

On the other hand, I would like to believe we have a role to play in this. Felicia might have read too much into her friendship with Danny but she isn’t the only one to be blamed. Danny should have known better. He should have paid more attention and seen the signs.

And most importantly, he should have mentioned to Felicia about his girlfriend. And who knows, maybe he did see the signs, maybe he did know she had feelings for him. Maybe he led her on. Maybe he was enjoying the attention. Just maybe.  But  as much as I would like to put all the blame on Danny, I mustn’t.

Ladies take caution! Guys watch out! It is important that we do not easily assume that when the opposite sex is being nice and good to us, it simply means they are into us.  If at any point we are confused about the other party’s feelings (which is normal), the best thing would be to talk about it, to discuss it. By doing this we will clear off any form of doubts and confusions we might be having.

In situations like this Communication is the way out. Not only will it save us from unnecessary heartbreaks and disappointments, it will also help us avoid appointing blames as to who actually led who on. It will remove second guessing and any form of doubts. It will clear the air. And the good news is, it will smoothen the relationship because at that point we already know exactly what to and what not to expect from the relationship.

So, don’t just assume, nobody is a mind reader, speak up. Luckily for you, you could find out that the feelings are mutual – you should know I actually smiled while typing this last part, lol.

When we communicate, we define the relationship. It is now left to the party to decide whether or not they still wish to stay in such relationship. At that point, it won’t be us holding them down and giving them false hopes and expectations, it would be their choice to keep up with or leave the relationship.

Let people go

You should  also know that this kind of scenario can be found between two people in a relationship. Let’s take a look at the following dialogue between Juliana and Charles who had been in a relationship for two years.


On a warm noon, Juliana came to pay Charles a visit. After all, it had been a while they had spent quality time together. As soon as she entered the room, she realized Charles was having a shower in the bathroom. She announced her arrival which Charles acknowledged. Few minutes later, his phone started vibrating due to endless messages.

Out of curiosity, Juliana decided to check Charles phone (I mean who can honestly say they have not at least for once taken a quick peep at their partner’s social media conversations? lol). She picked up the phone and unlocked it with the same password Charles had shared with her when they’d just started dating. Luckily for her, it was still the same password.

Unfortunately, Juliana was taken aback by the contents of the messages she read. Still glancing at the phone. Charles returned from the bathroom surprised to see Juliana looking down at his phone, but that soon became his least worry when he read the expression on her face. He knew instantly that that noon wasn’t going to end well.

For a few seconds no words parted with neither of their mouth. Silence filled the room.

Who the hell is Susie?” Juliana was finally able to put her mouth to use, and broke the silence. Her voice exuded anger.

She’s a friend I met few weeks ago.” Charles answered knowing fully well that that was just one out of the billions of questions he would be answering that afternoon.

Few weeks ago?” Juliana exclaimed, still holding the phone. “You mean this has been going on for weeks? You have been cheating on me for weeks!

I promise Juliana I was going to tell you” Charles said almost pleading

And when exactly were you planning on doing that?” She dropped the phone and stood akimbo. “When you requested #20,000 from me last week to complete your rent due, or after I recharged those countless airtimes on your phone? Just when were you planning to tell me?”

She paused. “Well, here’s your chance now perv, spit it out.” She demanded.

Charles seemed to be surprised at her extreme reaction but at the same time he was non-challant about the matter on ground,  “why are you taking this so personal Juliana?” He wondered.

Juliana stuttered, she was perplexed by Charles’s question. “Did you just ask..?  Are you seriously serious right now?”

Juliana I thought… “

Juliana cut him off.  “Thought what Charles?” Still maintaining her posture.

Charles proceeded, “I thought it was mutual.” Charles finally landed.

With mouth agape, she released her hand from her waist and folded them. She asked rhetorically, “By mutual you mean you thought I’d approve you cheating on me? Or you mean there is someone else other than you I’m dating that I’m not aware of?”

That’s not what I mean” He waited to hear a response from Juliana but she spoke no words, only her facial expressions gave Charles the clue to go on and explain further.

Hold on a second Juliana.” Charlie said suddenly as if to have recalled something. “You and I have been off for a while now if I’m correct. We hardly see or call each other like we used to. In fact, the last time I can recall you coming here was two weeks ago. So, I assumed you got the message that things were over, and I concluded you have moved on already.” Charles spoke, now totally dried from the bathing water without having even need to use the towel.

Juliana still with her perplexed look said, “The only reason I have not been calling or visiting you is because I assumed you needed space for yourself seeing as you pulled away for a while.” She paused and gave a huge sigh before adding, “Obviously I was totally wrong.” And she walked out… with a broken heart.

Once again, we should note that the role here can very well be interchanged. Juliana could be Charles, while Charles could be Juliana. This kind of role is not in any way gender specific.

How many times have we held on to someone simply because of the benefits we derive from them. Or because we are afraid to break their heart, instead of letting them go?

We meet a new partner (which is fine), but because of the financial benefit (or any other benefits for that matter) we derive from the current one, which by the way we have no feelings for anymore, we refuse to end the relationship and we keep them to ourselves, leaving them in total darkness about our true feelings, and wasting their time away.

Until we stop thinking, until we stop assuming, until we stop concluding without confirmation, and start talking, we might never really get to understand some situations with our partners and the other people in our lives.

Is it that you have found someone else and your feelings have changed towards your partner?  Or is it that your partner no longer pleases you in one way or the other like they used to? Have you suddenly found them less attractive unlike when the relationship first started?

Well, it’s totally alright when relationship is not working well. What’s not alright is one-sided withdrawal in a relationship. That is just unfair! Let people go!

Once you find out that your relationship with your partner is no longer suitable for you for whatever reasons you might have, please call your partner to attention, involve them, talk to them and decide on the next thing to do regardless of what benefit you are deriving from them.

It takes two to start a relationship, and it should take two to end it.

Take note that this doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. It also applies to our platonic friends and probably some of our long distant relatives.

It’s in human nature to be selfish. But we can always control our emotions. Don’t make someone believe they are special to you when you know they aren’t. Don’t hold on to someone because of your own selfish interest. It’s no crime letting people know exactly what they mean to you and where they stand in your life. It’s not possible to hold everyone dearly to your heart. No, it is absolutely impossible.

Release and let people go. Let them find love in someplace else. Give room for someone else to see the true uniqueness that you cannot see in them. Allow someone else to appreciate them. Don’t be selfish. Let them go. Set them free!

Here’s another interesting article you might want to check out THE LOVE MISTAKE YOU SHOULDN’T MAKE




What’s your view about the above article? Do you have an experience to share about it? Why not leave it in the comment box so we can all learn from you as well?  If you have any other contribution(s) or question(s), don’t hesitate to type it in the comment box below. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you.

12 comments On Let People Go

  • It is better to know your fate with some by talking to the person about it than getting to assume your fate. We’ll only be put ourselves in a big hit pot of hurt. Thanks for the write up

  • You nailed it Enny. For one to be selfish when it comes to relationships is not good this has been clearly spelt in your article but it is advisable to always know your place in the hearts of your friends family members even your partner

  • Many lines to learn about… It’s right to clearly state what a relationship is about at the inception. Yet if human still have reason for all actions and reactions, sometimes stating what you want directly in a relationship can alter Alot of things. Human are rational, we should consider the effect of time, influences and the irregular things which can yet muster men or woman to have a change of mind at every stage of life. My contribution.

    • I get your message Fellow. It’s true expressing our feelings sometimes can change our relationship with people either positively or negatively, however, a minor hurt is still preferable to a huge heartache. I hope you understand my message.
      And thank you for your contribution 🙂

  • Yea, let your relationship be well defined & do not hesitate to ask questions because failure to do so usually result to unexpected/unimaginable things. However, God’s will is Paramount!

    • Yes. As mentioned earlier, we have got to stop ‘thinking’, ‘assuming’ and ‘concluding without getting the real facts’ This is one of the reasons for most of the disappointments we encounter.
      Thank you for your contribution Adebayo!

  • Lovely article! I feel personally attacked!

    Somehow I feel this mirrored my past relationship… I remember being in a distance relationship and after a 3-and-half-years communication level dropped drastically and I was imagining what had gone wrong. I didn’t give up tho and was hoping we’d see soon for a face-to-face talk buh we wouldn’t until after couple of months… to cut the whole thing short while we were in the discussion she said to me “I was going to tell you” and I was like tel me after almost 10-months?? I’ve been in the dark for that long. I can relate to every bit of writings here.

    My take-home line is the paragraph where it is written: “Until we stop thinking, until we stop assuming, until we stop concluding without confirmation, and start talking we might never really get to understand some situations with our partners and the other people in our lives.” – This where I feel personally attacked.

    My summary in a few words is that we should stop leading people on just because we like the attention they’re giving us if we have no intention of being with them. That’s so selfish!

  • Such a sad experience you had there Odunayo. I’m really sorry about it.
    Communication is the key to unveiling many things, through communication many hidden facts often come to the surface and many assumptions are proved wrong.
    Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It’s a pleasure reading from you.

  • Quite a number of relationship had starting this way and a lot ended differently just thesame way this heartbreaking story. It’s sick actually, just as you said, the bridge of communication is the major factor. That’s really a brilliant write up Enny, that can correct alot of things. Nice one

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