“The grass is greener on the other side” is a proverb used to express that things are better when looking at them from afar, or on the other side, but in reality, it may not be so.
“If only I had not said yes to Gabriel, perhaps John and I could have had a better relationship.” Mary thought.
She wondered why after one year of being in a relationship with Gabriel, John happens to have all the desirable characteristics that Gabriel lacks. How come she has been oblivious to this all this while? All she thinks about now is how great a match she and John would be. They would be the perfect couple…literally.
We may have once been in Mary’s shoes.
One month/year into a new relationship, and a “seemingly” better person is right there before our eyes. Why does this happen? Is it always true that the grass is greener on the other side? And most importantly, how do we handle this?
This is a thought and notion that virtually everyone who has been in a relationship before (or still in a relationship) might have nurtured.
Hey, no judgment here! Even Eve displayed the same character. She had every apple at her disposal but the one that she was restricted from having was what she longed for. But see how that ended for her, as well as the rest of the generation. Just look at where that action has brought us today.
So, relax, you’re not alone in this boat. It’s a common phenomenon to many humans. The Adamic nature of always wanting and desiring what we do not have still dwells in many of us that are yet to recognize and deal with it.
Now, the question is, why does this happen often?
Know this, when we first meet someone, they are usually on their best behavior. The first impression counts. Isn’t that what they say? No one wants to come off as unlikable at the first meet. This makes them appear to be somewhat better. However, a closer look, and a longer time with them reveal their true color and nature. And you’d be surprised to find out that they are not as perfect as they appear to be. In fact, they may just be the same as our partner, or even worse.
Unfortunately, many of us have lost gold in pursuit of wood that is in disguise of Diamond.
So have in mind, that it may be true that someone appears better on the first meet, but it is not always true that they are actually better.
There are perhaps many reasons why this mindset often crawls into our thoughts, but the prominent one is usually as a result of chasing “A Perfect Relationship“.
The truth is, no relationship is perfect. We’ve probably heard this a hundred times. Every relationship requires an everyday intentional and sincere efforts to keep it moving forward.
Another reason could be due to lack of contentment. We want to have everything that appears good to ourselves. We are never satisfied with what we have. “Maybe he would be better than her. Maybe she would be better than him…” We keep wondering.
Comparison is another big contributing factor. Unfortunately, comparison kills. It cripples the mind, and prevents us from truly recognising and appreciating the value and beauty of what we do have, because we’re so busy wishing what we have could be like something else that we do not have.
I have been told, and I strongly believe that in every relationship, we must choose to keep loving our partner everyday, because the truth is, we will always find prettier, funnier, and “seemingly” better version of them. But what we will never find is another that is just like them.
Is there a way out to this? I believe there is always a way out to everything. So then, what’s the way out?
I wouldn’t say there’s a straight shot or overnight solution though, because everything takes time. But I’ve got a couple of advice for you if you’re in this shoes…
When you find yourself in a situation like this, that is, wondering what it would be like being with someone else other than the person you’re currently with. Instead of asking how it would feel like being with someone else, you should ask what may be wrong with your relationship. And most importantly, ask what it is exactly that you want. Talk to your partner and work it out. Ask how you can make your relationship better. Perhaps something is missing, and both of you need to fix it.
Except there are other RELATIONSHIP RED FLAGS YOU MUSTN’T IGNORE Leaving your partner for another when they have done absolutely nothing wrong is a step that may likely bring regret.
You might leave this A guy for another “seemingly” better B guy. But then after a while, you meet another “seemingly” better C guy and the same thing happens. The cycle continues. How long do you want to keep up with this? You can see why this mindset is wrong on so many levels.
The grass will not always appear greener on the other side if we can put in the necessary efforts to make our own grass green as well.
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