Would you say admiration is the same as love?
And if no, what differentiates them both?
And most importantly, is admiration enough reason to start a relationship with a potential partner?
Continue reading to find the answers to these questions.
But first, let’s try to put meanings to the two terms, shall we?
What is Love?
While there are numerous definitions given to the term love, some of which are different from the others, we can say love, typically, is a form of emotions (so strong) that we feel towards another person (precisely the opposite sex) in a positive way.
Note however, that we have different kinds of love, but In this context, our focus is on the kind of love that exists between a guy and a lady (who are unrelated).
Love makes the world go round.
What is Admiration?
Admiration on the other hand, is a form of respect for someone that we consider to be performing excellently well at a particular role or task.
For example, we can admire our friend for being a wonderful singer, our pastor for being an astounding speaker, our class mate for his excellent academic performance, or our neighbor for her rare beauty…the list goes on. I believe you get the picture, right?
Now, the real question is; Is admiration enough reason to choose a spouse?
To answer this, let’s take Janet’s and Chris’ case as an example.
When Janet met Chris at his work place, he was always neat and well kept. To top it all, oh boy, he smelled incredibly good. His hair never grew out of proportion as he never missed his weekly haircut.
This deeply amazed Janet as as she’d never met a guy so clean before. She found it alluring and before she knew it she was consumed with so much admiration towards Chris.
For Chris, it was Janet’s ability to play football. How rare could she be? He’d met so many ladies who didn’t have the slightest interest in football. Now, not only did Janet love football, she knew how to play it. She was skillful. “This must be the woman for me“, he proclaimed.
You can guess what happened between them eventually. The ‘love’ surfaced, they got married. And for the first few months they were inseparable. The fire kept burning, but unfortunately, only for a while.
When life hit them both, and Chris lost his job, he could care less about his appearance. He could wear the same clothes for three days and kept the same hair for months.
It’s easy to think we love someone that we admire in a romantic way when we actually don’t.
Janet began to find Chris’ overnight developed unhygienic behavior repulsive. And sooner than later, she also lost the zeal for football as she was always busy looking after the house and her husband.
It didn’t take long before the couple concluded that they had made a huge mistake in their choice of partner. Sad, isn’t it? Yet, this is a similar situation in many relationship.
We live in a world where love for another is often defined by what material things or traits they possess and how we can benefit from those things. Now that’s not love, not to me anyway.
As much as it’s a beautiful thing to date/marry someone you admire, the danger sadly, comes when they no longer possess that trait you found attractive in them in the first place.
Once the exuberant voice is gone; the beauty fades; the intellect becomes dumb and the skills lost; the admiration definitely vanishes along with it.
The case however, is different with genuine love. To admire someone is to find a trait attractive in them. To love someone on the other hand, is not limited to their external traits alone. Real love is unconditional.
No kinds of relationships thrive on external factors
While admiration is one of the genuine reasons you can fall in love with someone. It’s not the only reason there is to choose a life partner or spouse. You must learn to interpret your feelings to avoid unnecessary future heartbreaks.
Admiration to Love?
However, it’s possible to begin a relationship with admiration but such relationship would only last if the admiration is promoted to love. This means, although external traits brought you to like them, internal attributes made you stay with them.
In this case, even if such partner loses his/her external traits that attracted you to them in the first place, that wouldn’t be a reason to stop loving them.
No kinds of relationships thrive on external factors. None that I know of. It may start out with an unquenchable flame but it will only burn for as long as the external factors remain.
Admiration based on external factors do not last. They’re seasonal. Love isn’t.
This topic as simple as it may sound has been the cause of many broken relationships today, and will continue to be if caution isn’t taken. It’s easy to think we love someone that we admire in a romantic way when we actually don’t.
You must learn to interpret your feelings to avoid unnecessary future heartbreaks.
A situation where couples do not take their time to decipher exactly what they feel for each other, or what one of them feels, before diving into a lifetime commitment may lead to tragic heartbreak.
Rounding up, to all couples out there. Now is the time for self assessment. Why are you with your partner? Is it love or admiration?
And if you found out it’s admiration, it’s not too late. The good news is you can learn to love your partner as long as you are willing and ready to.
READ SIMILAR ARTICLES: DOES GOD CHOOSE OUR PARTNER FOR US?
So, what do you think? Is admiration enough reason to choose a partner? And is it the same as love? Share your thoughts in the comment section below. It’s always a pleasure to read from you!