Premarital Sex Discussion- Here’s What Youths Have To Say About Sex Before Marriage.

Premarital Sex.

premarital sex

Let’s talk about one of the most controversial topics among youths today – premarital sex.

Whether for religious reasons, health, moral, or any kind whatsoever, sex before marriage has always been a debatable topic.

While many people argue that sexual compatibility is one of the major reasons they engage in premarital sex, others believe there is no such thing as sexual compatibility.

However, whether or not you believe in premarital sex, keep reading this article to learn raw undiluted responses from both single and married youths as they share their personal experiences on sex before marriage.

Ready? Let’s get to it!

Note that names have been changed.



Deola (female, 29 years old)

Emmanuel (male, 34 years old)

Alfred (male, 32 years old)

B.A Yomi (male, 32 years old)

Esther (female,  27 years old)

  1. How long did you date/court your partner before you got married?

Deola11 years

Emmanuel4 years

Alfred  – 8 years

B.A YomiA year and a half

Esther – 6 years

  1. Did you have sex in your relationship before you got married?

DeolaNo, I did not.

EmmanuelNo. Though we kissed and romanced but no sex.

AlfredYes, after 14 months of being in the relationship.

B.A YomiYes.

Esther –  Yes, I did (but that was when I was sure he was the one)

  1. Have you ever practiced premarital sex?




B.A YomiYes

EstherYes (not proud of it though)

Read more The Secrets To A Long-Lasting Relationship

  1. Do you think it’s possible to be in a relationship without sex?

DeolaYes, I’m a living example.

EmmanuelYes. It is.

B.A YomiHonestly the preaching about relationships without sex is false because sex brings ‘bondness’ in a relationship but it should be done moderately.

If you are dating a guy and you deny him sex, HONESTLY, he will get it somewhere else and keep pretending to be an honest guy. And once he becomes attached to the other lady he’s getting the sex from, your relationship with him will start having issues.

Alfred Yes and No.

There is no 100% answer.

I will say Yes if, one, the courtship didn’t take long before marriage. Two, they are not too aged. And three, they didn’t see each other often.

I will say No because the issue of sex, romance, and the urge has nothing to do with being spiritual. It’s completely different. Humans are emotional beings. We have feelings and our sexual organs have hearts of their own.

Esther –  Yes. it’s possible. I did not have sex with my husband until a few months prior to our wedding.

  1. Do you think premarital sex destroys relationships prematurely?

Deola It is true premarital sex destroys relationships because it can result in pregnancy, abortions, womb damage which may cause early death.

EmmanuelNot really but could cause distrust. In my opinion, it could lead to trust issues between the partners involved. The guy could assume his girlfriend may as well allow other guys to sleep with her since she is sleeping with him. This is also vice versa.


EstherFor some, it might, but for others, it might not. But most times, it destroys it.

  1. Do you think sex strengthens relationships?

AdeolaSex doesn’t strengthen relationships ooooh, that is a lie. If sex strengthens relationships, then there shouldn’t be breakups. Because most relationships today involve sex and lots of breakups still keep happening. Sex is just a spice or grease to make the journey (marriage keep going). If sex strengthens the relationship, then there won’t be cheating from both spouses. What strengthens a relationship is prayer, transparency, trust, understanding, patience, humility, and a God-fearing heart.

EmmanuelWe need to know that sex is a bond, when 2 people who “truly love” each other have sex it makes them more intimate but if it is the other way where there is no true love it weakens the relationship.

Alfred – No.

B.A Yomi – Yes, sex strengthens the bond between couples.

Esther No (though mine did but only when I was sure he was the one).


  1. Would you say it’s hard to delay sex in a relationship, for you?

AdeolaNo it is not hard. When both partners have reached an agreement and there is understanding, it makes it easier.

Emmanuel – No it is not had to delay sex.

B.A Yomi – Yes, it is.

Esther – It’s not hard if the partners have an agreement.

Read more Should A Woman Embrace Her Femininity?

  1. What’s your general opinion and conclusion about premarital sex?

Adeola –  Premarital sex is not the best for any relationship because the dangers and regrets that come with it are much. I won’t encourage any unmarried youth to be a part of it.

Emmanuel Sex is enjoyable but doing it before marriage is a sin. Premarital sex could cause trust issues between the 2 people involved. Abstinence in a relationship increases trust and loyalty.

Aside from spirituality, premarital sex could be good but abstinence in a relationship is BEST.

Alfred – There are dangers to premarital sex. Fear of unwanted pregnancy, that one can kill a person. Though contraceptive is aiding on that side it does fail. Sex also ties people (ladies) down to unwanted relationships.  It clouds their decision in abusive relationships. You also risk abortion, STDs, and so on.

My conclusion is that it is good to marry at an early age so as to avert most of these challenges faced with premarital sex. Courtship should not last more than 6 months or at worst a year. Couples should not always stay alone in areas like bedrooms or other close places. They can always meet in open areas like parks, eatery and take a walk because even at distance relationships, nudes are sent, videos call of explicit content are made.

B.A Yomi – If both are very mature let them do what will keep their relationship. No one can define your relationship for you. Both of you can be your marriage counselors. But it shouldn’t be every time. Understand each other’s emotions. Know your man well before agreeing to sex in a relationship

Esther – Premarital sex isn’t ideal. One should endeavor to deviate from it. With God and prayer, you can avoid it. It’s not ideal to have sex in just any relationship. Let the relationship be defined properly.

Read More 5 Subtle Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

premarital sex



Makinde (male, 27 years old)

Dara (female, 25 years old)

Tina (female, 28 years old)

Lekan (male, 27 years old)

Gabby (female, 25 years old)

  1. How long have you been in a relationship with your current partner?

Makinde4 Years

Dara 3 Years

Tina7 Months

Lekan – Not currently in a relationship.  

Gabby – Not currently in a relationship

  1. Have you had sex with your current partner?




  1. Have you ever practiced premarital sex before?

Makinde Yes



Lekan – Yes


  1. Do you think sex strengthens or destroys relationships?

MakindeHmm, it’s a very big question. Sex is important though but it should never define any relationship. In fact, it’s the very first thing that dies untimely in marriage. Yet, no relationship can really survive without it, all things being equal though.

DaraYea, premarital sex will destroy relationships.

TinaYes, premarital sex destroys relationships. My previous relationship ended because we practiced premarital sex. I felt so guilty and that led to our separation.

LekanNo, not all the time. It depends on the foundation of the relationship. If sex is the foundation of the relationship, odikwa very risky. However, if the foundation is built on genuine connection, sex can further strengthen it.

GabbyTo a large extent, yes, it strengthens relationships especially if they are sexually compatible. Sex isn’t just sex to some people, it is a means of bonding strongly. Do you know you can catch feelings after colliding genitals successfully? When I say successfully, I mean both parties enjoyed it. Great multiple orgasms pheeeew!

Sex is very important. The importance is underrated. Even some married couples end up divorced because of sex (inadequate sex, too much, and even unenjoyable sex).  For me, sex can end a relationship when I’m not getting any satisfaction from it. I’ve experienced it once, never again. Tufiakwa!

  1. Would you say it’s hard to delay sex in a relationship?

Makinde– Yes, it is.

DaraFor me, it’s not hard. When you know the truth and hold on to it, then it’s so easy. We both know and agreed it’s a no-go area until we are married. We avoid anything that can lead to sex.

TinaNo, it’s not hard.

LekanYes, it is, especially for sexually active people. But if that’s what my partner wants, I will accept it.

Gabby – No, it’s not hard.

  1. So, what’s your final conclusion on premarital sex?

MakindePremarital sex isn’t good but not an evil act. It should be avoided in any possible way. Youths should be sincere with their intention before getting into any relationship at all. The only intention or reason to get into any relationship should be for marriage only.

Dara–  Sex before marriage is just like eating uncooked rice with a delicious but uncooked soup. Even if you eat and you are filled you won’t feel good eating it and you will not be satisfied. Also, sex before marriage is a defilement to the bed and the word of God strongly warns against it. Lastly, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. If you want to enjoy sex and have it, wait patiently till you are married.

TinaWell, I will advise the youths to abstain from premarital sex because there’s a difference between sex and love. Nowadays, it’s sex youths use sex to prove love to one another which is wrong. So, first, understand what love and sex are before involving yourself in premarital sex.

Lekan  – Better to avoid it if you can, but life happens.

Gabby  – To me, premarital sex isn’t a sin. It depends on your belief. If you believe it’s a sin, don’t do it. If you believe otherwise, go for it.

Read similar article LOVE INTERVIEW: Wrong Reasons For Falling In Love

There you have it! Both married and singles’ opinions on premarital sex. Quite some responses, I must say.

What do you make out of this interesting topic? And what’s your opinion on sex before marriage? Share in the comment section below. It’s always a pleasure reading from you.

If you learn from this article feel free to share with someone you love.


Note – This article wasn’t created to prove that premarital sex is either right or wrong. As you can see, these are simply gathered responses from different youths.

On that note, special thanks to all the interviewees who took out of their precious time to give their sincere answers. This enlightening article wouldn’t have been realized without you all. Gracias!

16 comments On Premarital Sex Discussion- Here’s What Youths Have To Say About Sex Before Marriage.

  • Olumide S. Ogungbemi

    Nice piece, Thanks for this.

  • Interesting topic, i must say. It seems we live in a society and generation where premarital sex is no big deal. Even some parents encourage their children to do so. Sex education is also watered down…until the consequences dawn on us and we start making preparations for a life we never planned for, which may be either unwanted pregnancy, diseases, abuse, etc
    My advice… don’t start what you cannot finish or are not ready to finish.

    Thanks Ennywealth for this beautiful piece

  • This topic is like a talking drum. Nevertheless, many times, those who break the vines don’t always escape the serpent bite.
    Life they say is a stage, manage yours well and in doing that, don’t rely to much on your own understanding coz when the crier hold the gong, lets listen, it might be a message of many raining days.

    Pre marital sex is not good, no matter how hard we try to defend it. Yet, to our weaken heart and mortal body, we will always pray day by day for God strength and wisdom coz the day are evil…😊 pre marital sex is not an easy task to overcome. Shalom!

    • You have a really good point, Fellow. Life indeed is in stages and we must try to work according to that. Plus, divine wisdom and understanding are needed to do the right thing. Thank you for sharing your opinions with us!

  • Thank you for this enlightening research Ennywealth.
    I see marriage as honourable. It is honourable to keep sex till after marriage, more than buying a billion dollar ring. However, sex is not the foundation of marriage

  • EnnyWealth moving pieces, and shaking tables😁.
    Oh well, very interesting interview sessions. I, for one, enjoyed it quite well. A bold move. Controversial topics would always evoke people’s attention.

    My take: there might not be any necessary rights or wrongs to this. In this part of the world, our culture, and religion mostly dictates our approach to sex before marriage. Some, strongly against it, some leaves it in a region of grey..
    As westernisation dawns on us, people want to consciously forget this particular phenomenon, whereas, it was one of the things imprinted in our memory whilst growing up.

    I also feel calling it premarital sex is labelling. You call it that, and you’re finding all the reasons to call it bad.
    In this context, you’re saying everybody will get married. We now see instances where people choose not to get married.

    Now, let’s look at it from this perspective. “The id”! Id says the primitive component of our personality exists in our unconscious. It is the driving component of our personality, and seeks to satisfy the basic wants of humans, of which are the desire for food and sex. It’s so much basic that it is even illustrated in the early years of life. The Oedipal complex!
    The Oedipal complex says a child will develop feelings of love and affection for the opposite sex parent, while showing feelings of hatred and jealousy for the same sex parent.

    My point here being, remove all the moral standards that we have attached to sex, and it becomes just another basic want of life, e.g food, that begs for satisfaction.

    On a lighter mode, two people find love. It’s absolutely their decision to decide on how they want to be. If they’re religious, and see it as something not appropriate, then it’d be only right to abstain. On the other hand, if they’re “wild birds”, “free spirits”, they should do whatever that would make the bonding stronger.

    One thing I’m for, is to be faithful to your partner, and be intentional. Make plans. Prevent unnecessary complications like getting pregnant. There are well proven ways that have a very high chance of not failing, if well adhered to.

    Thank you 🤗

    • This is wisdom in a nutshell, JohnSmallmind. I love your point of view on this topic. I believe we have a lot to learn from it. Thank you so much for taking your time to share this with us.

  • Thanks Ennywealth coz I’ve gotten my answer already. It’s these words for me:
    Do you think sex strengthens relationships?
    Adeola– Sex doesn’t strengthen relationships ooooh, that is a lie. If sex strengthens relationships, then there shouldn’t be breakups. Because most relationships today involve sex and lots of breakups still keep happening. Sex is just a spice or grease to make the journey (marriage keep going). If sex strengthens the relationship, then there won’t be cheating from both spouses. What strengthens a relationship is prayer, transparency, trust, understanding, patience, humility, and a God-fearing heart.

  • Interesting topic, thanks for this. May God help us do what is right always.

  • What i know about this is, different strokes for different folks, depends on what both partners want and we can see that from those interviewed, there’s no perfect answer, yall can choose not to have sex and the relationship works out or crumbles and it can go the other way round, it’s a relationship, both partners should always decide what they want not what society wants, society can’t keep em together, I’ve engaged in premarital sex and I’m not ashamed, I’m not married yet and all though some religions frown at it, but who are humans to speak for God, the same God that understands us and gave us the power of choice, yall do what ya like and pray, i believe God’s not angry with me💯and that he has what most humans don’t have, understanding and I’m happy in my relationship, we make love when we want to, i pray i get married to my gf, pray things become beautiful forever and ever

    • Hmmm, simply an amazing contribution, Elmicki promo. Of course, you’re right, “different strokes for different folks.”

      By the way, I’m happy that you’re happy in your relationship.
      And thank you for sharing this with us!

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