Let’s talk about one of the most controversial topics among youths today – premarital sex.
Whether for religious reasons, health, moral, or any kind whatsoever, sex before marriage has always been a debatable topic.
While many people argue that sexual compatibility is one of the major reasons they engage in premarital sex, others believe there is no such thing as sexual compatibility.
However, whether or not you believe in premarital sex, keep reading this article to learn raw undiluted responses from both single and married youths as they share their personal experiences on sex before marriage.
Ready? Let’s get to it!
Note that names have been changed.
RESPONSES FROM MARRIED YOUTHS
Deola (female, 29 years old)
Emmanuel (male, 34 years old)
Alfred (male, 32 years old)
B.A Yomi (male, 32 years old)
Esther (female, 27 years old)
How long did you date/court your partner before you got married?
Deola – 11 years
Emmanuel – 4 years
Alfred – 8 years
B.A Yomi – A year and a half
Esther – 6 years
Did you have sex in your relationship before you got married?
Deola – No, I did not.
Emmanuel – No. Though we kissed and romanced but no sex.
Alfred – Yes, after 14 months of being in the relationship.
B.A Yomi – Yes.
Esther – Yes, I did (but that was when I was sure he was the one)
Have you ever practiced premarital sex?
Deola – No
Emmanuel – No
Alfred – Yes
B.A Yomi– Yes
Esther – Yes (not proud of it though)
Do you think it’s possible to be in a relationship without sex?
Deola – Yes, I’m a living example.
Emmanuel – Yes. It is.
B.A Yomi – Honestly the preaching about relationships without sex is false because sex brings ‘bondness’ in a relationship but it should be done moderately.
If you are dating a guy and you deny him sex, HONESTLY, he will get it somewhere else and keep pretending to be an honest guy. And once he becomes attached to the other lady he’s getting the sex from, your relationship with him will start having issues.
Alfred – Yes and No.
There is no 100% answer.
I will say Yes if, one, the courtship didn’t take long before marriage. Two, they are not too aged. And three, they didn’t see each other often.
I will say No because the issue of sex, romance, and the urge has nothing to do with being spiritual. It’s completely different. Humans are emotional beings. We have feelings and our sexual organs have hearts of their own.
Esther – Yes. it’s possible. I did not have sex with my husband until a few months prior to our wedding.
Do you think premarital sex destroys relationships prematurely?
Deola – It is true premarital sex destroys relationships because it can result in pregnancy, abortions, womb damage which may cause early death.
Emmanuel – Not really but could cause distrust. In my opinion, it could lead to trust issues between the partners involved. The guy could assume his girlfriend may as well allow other guys to sleep with her since she is sleeping with him. This is also vice versa.
Alfred – No.
Esther – For some, it might, but for others, it might not. But most times, it destroys it.
Do you think sex strengthens relationships?
Adeola– Sex doesn’t strengthen relationships ooooh, that is a lie. If sex strengthens relationships, then there shouldn’t be breakups. Because most relationships today involve sex and lots of breakups still keep happening. Sex is just a spice or grease to make the journey (marriage keep going). If sex strengthens the relationship, then there won’t be cheating from both spouses. What strengthens a relationship is prayer, transparency, trust, understanding, patience, humility, and a God-fearing heart.
Emmanuel – We need to know that sex is a bond, when 2 people who “truly love” each other have sex it makes them more intimate but if it is the other way where there is no true love it weakens the relationship.
Alfred – No.
B.A Yomi – Yes, sex strengthens the bond between couples.
Esther – No (though mine did but only when I was sure he was the one).
- Would you say it’s hard to delay sex in a relationship, for you?
Adeola – No it is not hard. When both partners have reached an agreement and there is understanding, it makes it easier.
Emmanuel – No it is not had to delay sex.
B.A Yomi – Yes, it is.
Esther – It’s not hard if the partners have an agreement.
Read more Should A Woman Embrace Her Femininity?
What’s your general opinion and conclusion about premarital sex?
Adeola – Premarital sex is not the best for any relationship because the dangers and regrets that come with it are much. I won’t encourage any unmarried youth to be a part of it.
Emmanuel – Sex is enjoyable but doing it before marriage is a sin. Premarital sex could cause trust issues between the 2 people involved. Abstinence in a relationship increases trust and loyalty.
Aside from spirituality, premarital sex could be good but abstinence in a relationship is BEST.
Alfred – There are dangers to premarital sex. Fear of unwanted pregnancy, that one can kill a person. Though contraceptive is aiding on that side it does fail. Sex also ties people (ladies) down to unwanted relationships. It clouds their decision in abusive relationships. You also risk abortion, STDs, and so on.
My conclusion is that it is good to marry at an early age so as to avert most of these challenges faced with premarital sex. Courtship should not last more than 6 months or at worst a year. Couples should not always stay alone in areas like bedrooms or other close places. They can always meet in open areas like parks, eatery and take a walk because even at distance relationships, nudes are sent, videos call of explicit content are made.
B.A Yomi – If both are very mature let them do what will keep their relationship. No one can define your relationship for you. Both of you can be your marriage counselors. But it shouldn’t be every time. Understand each other’s emotions. Know your man well before agreeing to sex in a relationship
Esther – Premarital sex isn’t ideal. One should endeavor to deviate from it. With God and prayer, you can avoid it. It’s not ideal to have sex in just any relationship. Let the relationship be defined properly.
RESPONSES FROM SINGLES
Makinde (male, 27 years old)
Dara (female, 25 years old)
Tina (female, 28 years old)
Lekan (male, 27 years old)
Gabby (female, 25 years old)
How long have you been in a relationship with your current partner?
Makinde– 4 Years
Dara– 3 Years
Tina– 7 Months
Lekan – Not currently in a relationship.
Gabby – Not currently in a relationship
Have you had sex with your current partner?
Have you ever practiced premarital sex before?
Makinde – Yes
Dara – No
Tina – Yes
Lekan – Yes
Gabby – Yes
Do you think sex strengthens or destroys relationships?
Makinde– Hmm, it’s a very big question. Sex is important though but it should never define any relationship. In fact, it’s the very first thing that dies untimely in marriage. Yet, no relationship can really survive without it, all things being equal though.
Dara – Yea, premarital sex will destroy relationships.
Tina – Yes, premarital sex destroys relationships. My previous relationship ended because we practiced premarital sex. I felt so guilty and that led to our separation.
Lekan – No, not all the time. It depends on the foundation of the relationship. If sex is the foundation of the relationship, odikwa very risky. However, if the foundation is built on genuine connection, sex can further strengthen it.
Gabby – To a large extent, yes, it strengthens relationships especially if they are sexually compatible. Sex isn’t just sex to some people, it is a means of bonding strongly. Do you know you can catch feelings after colliding genitals successfully? When I say successfully, I mean both parties enjoyed it. Great multiple orgasms pheeeew!
Sex is very important. The importance is underrated. Even some married couples end up divorced because of sex (inadequate sex, too much, and even unenjoyable sex). For me, sex can end a relationship when I’m not getting any satisfaction from it. I’ve experienced it once, never again. Tufiakwa!
Would you say it’s hard to delay sex in a relationship?
Makinde– Yes, it is.
Dara – For me, it’s not hard. When you know the truth and hold on to it, then it’s so easy. We both know and agreed it’s a no-go area until we are married. We avoid anything that can lead to sex.
Tina – No, it’s not hard.
Lekan – Yes, it is, especially for sexually active people. But if that’s what my partner wants, I will accept it.
Gabby – No, it’s not hard.
So, what’s your final conclusion on premarital sex?
Makinde– Premarital sex isn’t good but not an evil act. It should be avoided in any possible way. Youths should be sincere with their intention before getting into any relationship at all. The only intention or reason to get into any relationship should be for marriage only.
Dara– Sex before marriage is just like eating uncooked rice with a delicious but uncooked soup. Even if you eat and you are filled you won’t feel good eating it and you will not be satisfied. Also, sex before marriage is a defilement to the bed and the word of God strongly warns against it. Lastly, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. If you want to enjoy sex and have it, wait patiently till you are married.
Tina – Well, I will advise the youths to abstain from premarital sex because there’s a difference between sex and love. Nowadays, it’s sex youths use sex to prove love to one another which is wrong. So, first, understand what love and sex are before involving yourself in premarital sex.
Lekan – Better to avoid it if you can, but life happens.
Gabby – To me, premarital sex isn’t a sin. It depends on your belief. If you believe it’s a sin, don’t do it. If you believe otherwise, go for it.
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There you have it! Both married and singles’ opinions on premarital sex. Quite some responses, I must say.
What do you make out of this interesting topic? And what’s your opinion on sex before marriage? Share in the comment section below. It’s always a pleasure reading from you.
If you learn from this article feel free to share with someone you love.
Note – This article wasn’t created to prove that premarital sex is either right or wrong. As you can see, these are simply gathered responses from different youths.
On that note, special thanks to all the interviewees who took out of their precious time to give their sincere answers. This enlightening article wouldn’t have been realized without you all. Gracias!