It’s a familiar question and it usually goes like this, “Does God choose our partner for us?” This is a question almost every believer has come across.
Some people (maybe even you) believe that there is only one spouse meant for them on the planet. Is this true? Is this a fallacy? Let’s examine the facts.
When it comes to marital aspect, it is often believed by many believers that we must wait on God to choose for us. And not choose for ourselves as we are more likely to choose wrong. As true as this statement may be, it is only true to an extent.
Effects of This Belief
This belief sadly, has obstructed many well meaning people from marrying the partner of their choice.
For instance, some sincere believers have fallen victims of hypocrites that claimed but lied that, “God spoke and confirmed to me that you’re my partner.”
And because the significant partner had espoused the idea that God chose for us our partner, they yielded out of fear thinking they’d be disobeying God had they refused – despite having no desire to be with such person that approached them.
What’s disheartening is when the relationship (not marriage) becomes abusive and such a lady or guy remains in it because they think God wants them to be there. They think he/she is the one they are meant to be with. Hello dear believer, I’m happy to announce to you that God’s intention for you is to have peace not trouble.
In addition to this, some outsiders tend to criticize victims of broken marriage by claiming the couples were not being spiritual enough to have allowed God to choose their partners for them.
They often go on to say that, a marriage chosen by God will never fail, and such marriages are the ones we see today that are working.
While it’s true that God can speak to us through various means regarding our lives or other people’s- including revelation of who to marry- it’s not a fixed way for every believer.
As a believer, you have been given what is referred to as the free will by God.
Believing that God picks only one person for you to marry out of billions of people in the whole world would compromise this free will from Him. And God’s words can never be compromised. Not now, not ever.
Here’s a possible reason why some people hold on to this belief.
It is so that when their marriage or relationship crashes, they can have someone to blame. In this case- God. Once the marriage drowns, they say to God, “Why have you allowed me to marry or be with this man or that woman?”
Believing that God picks a partner for everyone is the same as believing that God picks what we wear, eat or what we drink. There is the power of free will, and this is the gift that we can either utilize rightfully or abusively
It all boils down to this, God doesn’t decide for us. Neither does he enforce on us regarding anything in our life, including marital spouse. To think so would be to violate the free will that we have been given.
Yes, agreeably, to have a Godly and fulfilling relationship, you must choose someone that is fit for you. But it doesn’t mean there is only one kind of such person. No, that’s not true. There are hundreds, if not thousands of people that are suitable for you. You just gotta find one to settle with.
What Does God Do Then?
He guides and supports us. That is, if we allow Him to.
Hence, in choosing who to marry, it is important to allow God to take the lead. We must seek His face and approval through prayers and other Godly means.
READ RELATED ARTICLES;
THE ULTIMATE CRITERIA FOR CHOOSING A SPOUSE
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Do you agree with the above points? Does God choose our partner for us? Comment and let’s hear your thoughts about it.
11 comments On Does God Choose Our Partner For Us?
Have so much believe in free will carefully guided by God principle, instruction, laws, signs and every other means that we believe its spiritual base on individual doctrine.
nevertheless their is a particular point i think this divides, can a human be so free in is will to allow the totality of God to play in all decision when it comes to marital life? This question begs for answer as we see daily how our man of God married beautiful women, our school papa getting married to mama etc to mention few, I use to think this towards a laugh that “so God didn’t choose ugly (sorry to use the word) ladies for our pastor. I wonder in awe
God makes all things beautiful, lolz, and clouding our judgment with believe that God should be at the every end to do all thing is far from how God himself expected us to use the potentials, ability and liberty given to us to exhibit a true linage of him in chosen what is right, just and beautiful. Wisdom God says is a principal thing… In all thy getting, get understanding.
I believe is a living space God expected us to use our sense in our natural selection and getting what God can give us strength to maintain the perfect imperfect.
Thank you Fellow for your insightful contributions👌
To answer your question, can a human be so free in his will to allow the totality of God to play in all decision when it comes to marital life?
My answer is yes. In fact, as humans, we ought to always allow God’s full involvement in all our dealings, and not just in marital aspect.
Nevertheless, we mustn’t neglect the part that involves our own work. There’s always a part for us to play as well.
I think if, we are still allowing God involvement, then the word “total ” as contradict its true meaning in that article, then its now beyond human philosophy, a philosophy itself which never involve in metaphysical but rely solely on logical human reasoning. Of which I believe, make a choice of whom to marry is first on some steps compounded in seeing, feelings, connection, bridging gap that connect to knowing each other well… How then can we say this shorthand way of koni koni love is that lead to serious relationship or marriage is just God?
Don’t you think these words in quote “There is the power of free will,” and “It all boils down to this, God doesn’t decide for us. Neither does he enforce on us regarding anything in our life, including marital spouse. To think so would be to violate the free will that we have been given.” contradict these other words in quote “He guides and supports us. That is, if we allow Him to.
Hence, in choosing who to marry, it is important to allow God to take the lead. We must seek His face and approval through prayers and other Godly means.” That’s “free will” against “if we allow Him”.
That’s an interesting question Adebayo.
No. I don’t think the statements contradict each other in the sense that the word, “if” is a will and not mandatory.
Yes, it is important to consult Him in order for Him to guide and direct us, but it is not compulsory. Hence, the ‘free will’.
I hope I’ve been able to answer your question.
Thank you for engaging.🤝
Logically, I think the word “if”, try to be siding the two phases we are trying to define. Rather than *if and only if”. Yet people still and will always think their is a grace, an abundant grace for them to even overturn the choice of God for them. They fine tune this by quoting many verse in the bible to contain their ability to select that very choice they want. One of the verses is. The tot of God towards me is good not of evil to give me an expected end… As in end( fine, tall, rich, caring husband)…. Opor! Yet when go say yes no one can say no
This is particularly a good topic for the day.
Nice piece ennywealth.
Thank you Balling guy👍
Great. Thank you for the value ma. 🙂🖋️
This is fresh and educative. Thank you for this EnnyWealth, I was greatly blessed by the write-up and previous comments.
Let’s take a glimpse of the first Marriage that ever occurred between our “fore-parents”(Pa. Adam& Ma. Eve).
When trouble came, this was Pa. Adam’s Response to God was, “the woman you gave me caused this”(paraphrasing).
EnnyWealth made something clear: “God doesn’t decide for us. Neither does he enforce on us regarding anything in our life, including marital spouse”
I believe you search for your spouse (the Bible says he that “finds a wife…” not “he that receives a wife”.
After you have found her or he has found you, you pray “to test every spirit”.
After confirmation, both of you must agree to live peaceably with one another (Amos 3:3)
However, it is possible to find something when you weren’t searching. In which it just comes to you. Still, what would determine a change in your marital status is YES I DO! OR NO I DON’T.
So it is still up to you.