Can You Marry You?

Quick questions, would you want your sister to marry a guy like you? Would you want your brother to marry a girl like you? And most importantly, can you marry you?

Whatever your answer (even if you’re still meditating on it), proceed to read this article.

Often times I hear people say  “I want a partner that is more spiritual than I am”, I want a partner that can cook more than I can”, I want a partner that is faithful”, “I want a partner that can do this and that.”

The irony part is when you ask these same set of people  “Can you cook? Are you spiritual ? Are you faithful?”

The answer will most likely be “No, but if my partner can…”

Please stop!

Stop trying to seek and command what you do not possess and cannot (and not ready to) give out. Think about what it will cost you to acquire those traits you so much desire yourself – absolutely nothing! Unfortunately, no one wants to offer, but we all want to receive.

You hear complaints from both genders saying, “There are no good ladies out there! No man out there is faithful!”  The question is – Are you faithful? Are you good?

You attract what you are. What you are is what you attract.”

Many studies have shown and proven that we subconsciously attract into our lives our most dominant thoughts.

Brian Tracy once said,

Perhaps the most important mental and spiritual principle ever discovered is that you become what you think about most of the time.

Your outer world is very much a mirror image of your inner world.

What is going on outside of you is a reflection of what is going in inside of you.

You can tell the inner condition of a person by looking at the outer conditions of his or her life. And it cannot be otherwise.”

If you keep nurturing the thoughts that all ladies are unfaithful, you will eventually end up with an unfaithful one.

The same thing applies to ladies, if you think all guys are players, you will eventually end up with one.

But the good news is you can change this reality simply by changing your thoughts – hence your actions.

There is nothing on earth that you cannot have once you have mentally accepted the fact that you can have it.”

—Robert Collier

Think positively. Think good!

There are situations that some were fortunate to find the partners that possess these traits they desire only to realize that they cannot handle them.

What’s their excuse?

Oh She’s too proud.” Or “He’s too good for me“.

Well, you could very much be right about the “he’s too good for me” part but not the pride part.

No, it’s not because they’re proud, it’s because you as a partner have failed to equip yourself with the necessary skills needed to sustain the relationship.

Hence, you don’t have what it takes to handle them. Perhaps you should let them go. Read more here LET PEOPLE GO

So, what are you waiting for?

Ladies, let’s go back to that long list… yeah that one with all the qualities that we want in a guy, lol.

Let’s imagine ourselves portraying these qualities (except for the six packs and height of course) and start making it happen.

The car, the house, the title and company, the faithfulness, the loyalty, the spirituality, these are stuff we can develop and portray too. These qualities are not gender specific.

As for the guys, well you most likely don’t have a long list written down, or any list for that matter.

However, you do have preferences and choices (which you may be having a hard time seeing ladies that portray them).

Well, I’m here to tell you one of the major ways to getting that is by becoming that person you seek (well except for the figure 8 and curvy shape of course).

The cooking, the faithfulness, the spirituality, the loyalty, the loving nature and care? You can possess them too!

One of the major problems we face, however, is that our society has made some traits peculiar to certain genders only.

Who says cooking is meant for just females? I know guys who can cook way more than some ladies can.

I have met guys who wash more than a woman who has just put to bed (and we all know how often a woman who’s just put to them washes).

My point is most of these traits we seek aren’t gender specific. Anyone can possess them.

So, let’s quit attributing certain roles to gender.

Just to be clear, by qualities, I’m not referring to the physical features here. We all are aware that each gender has its own unique biological features, which the other cannot possess- naturally.

Here I’m talking more about the moral features, but I’m sure you get the picture.

So go ahead, give it a try. Decide to become like the person you want to be with and marry.

Believe me, there is no better way to attracting the right partner into your life than that!

Finally, dear sister, can you marry you? Dear brother, can you marry you? If your answer is no, you’ve got work to do!


I believe you’ve learned from the short article above. Now be generous and share with a friend to help them also. Plus, don’t forget to leave your contributions in the comment box below. I’m always looking forward to reading from you.

15 comments On Can You Marry You?

  • Well spoken and constructed.
    But my give on this is that there are some of these traits that can be acquired easily from the environment created by the person they seek.
    More wisdom enny…

  • Nice one…you can’t have what you can’t give…we should learn to give and show love,then we will surely receive love from others.

  • What a thought provoking write-up. Well spoken, we should give what we expect to get from others!

  • Great article as always. I have always said and maintain this that if you are searching for Mr or Ms Right, your first order of business is to become Mr or Ms Right. People forget that the right perso is also searching for the same thing too. So become waht someone needs and then you find waht you need too. Wanting waht you can’t afford to give or work for is selfishness and you can’t go far wit that. Be the “right person” that the right person is also looking for.

  • Good right up. I agree with all you have said. We need to be that right person ourselves, to attract
    the kind of person we want.
    That why self improvement is a must for us now that we are not married.
    More knowledge.

  • Cooking? I have begun to hate the whole kitchen lately sef. Perhaps this topic is a cue for me to change. Enny you just expressed one of my regular random thoughts. Yeah! Be that person you want to marry, it’s easier to reel off our specs, but how many of the boxes have we ticked personally? Desiring to find certain, better qualities that one doesn’t possess in oneself, in a prospective or imaginary partner, is like a leisurely fantasy. Plus it is unfair and selfish. Think about this, why not be a model for that Babe or Bobo instead?

  • Am going to quote a friend that said “whatever you are be a good one”. The article is definitely needed.

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